Stargazer Answers

Do you have any idea how long I’ve had this queued? Any idea? A year. A fucking year. I don’t even use my queue ever. Ever. This is the only thing I’ve EVER queued. I’ve had this queued for a year so I don’t forget it.

everything about this video is perfect. the voice acting, the cookies, the milk, the cave, the chickens singing the imperial march for some reason, the way the sound of the fires starting lines up with the haunting song of the chickens, the way santa teleports right in front of the player at the last second. it’s all so surreal

In Romanian the verb "a toarce" means both "to purr" and "to spin wool".

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

well you did ask

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

Now THIS is a Tumblr heritage post.

Yesterday I had a dreamt Tumblr started drawing Perry the Platypus humanized and he became a Tumblr-sexyman even tho he doesn't have a Canon human design yet. Then Disney made it canon and married him with Doofenshmirtz on a theatrical movie. Everyone cried and called it the ship of all time, blueprints, etc etc. And even casual people started cosplaying them. And making weddings themed after them. A floating sans head was there for some reason, whispered "February 1" and I woke up in a cold sweat

YOOOOOOOOO

All this fuss about password security when it turns out that security peaked in 1780

That kid is gonna have the finest fucking motor skills

it fucks me up that tolkien only died in 1973. dude has the vibe of a victorian scholar who wrote all his manuscripts by candlelight but then you look him up and realise that he knew what color tv was. what the fuck.

Tolkien had personal beef with the Beatles

He actively encouraged Led Zeppelin to write songs based on the LOTR series and considered it an honor

WHAT

WHAAAAAAT