Rock Me Asmodeus

Official Post of Massachusetts

When you have a hammer, every problem looks like it's a nail. And when you have a character, every post looks like it's about them. And that's cause it is! 😊 #wisdom

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

i cant stop saying "grisp it"

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

fandom loves nothing more than to look at an interesting story and boldly ask the question: what if we made it boring instead?

I don't know why I have to clarify this but this post was not a laudatory one

Fingerless gloves are the thigh highs of hands. I will not elaborate

wrong. ballroom gloves are the thigh highs of hands. fingerless gloves are the booty shorts of hands.

the sacred technique of jacking off and then taking a nap

lowkey i just killed all innocents

notice how no one died

I mean if you really want a take that you can hate me for, I think people who only take morning showers are nasty. I will never let the opinion of someone who willingly sleeps in the pollen and dirt and sweat of the day matter to me

like I will not host hookups because the one rule for getting into my bed is you have to be clean of skin. gotta be smelling like peppermint Dr. Bronners or you can't fuck me in my bed bc this is My Zone, and it's kind of an insane thing to ask people

fine i'll do it myself. make me the gaffer. i'll light the damn shows