sponsored by tdingaling

true borderline personality disorder has never been tried

men got a taste of women's beauty standards and immediately started bashing their facial bones with hammers

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

oh goodie I got transported into a Mormon yuri. I'm a first year transfer student to the Nephi Halicarnassus Girls' Academy I'm running late to reformed Egyptian class with toast in my mouth! Oh fuck I bumped into the class president in the hall and now I'm flashing my temple garments as I comedically fall over...... Omg the class president is sharing a dirty soda from Swig with me..... From the same straw, an indirect kiss.... "Baka, you got Crumbl on your face," she says wiping the cookie from my cheek with her finger........

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

can i be honest tho i kinda hate makeup bc i love licking my lips and rubbing my hands on my face like a cat or a fly annd i also love wiping my eyes like a sleepy infant all the time so basically i cant do it

Whenever you see ‘for afab bodies’ in a clothing advertisement , just know that’s secret code for “one shirt is almost $200”

Leather fetishes are back in cuz everything is polyester these days.. touching real HQ material in 2026 is enough to give anyone a little sexual zing

taking my gamer dog out for a walkthrough

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.