Cavern of Mischief and Shenanigans

People in the notes: So you hate moms??? You’re ableist?? You think we should go back to the Dark Ages?? (My personal favorite because it makes no sense) you’re poor shaming??

Everyone knows who the iPad kids are

I've seen it all from kids who don't know how to use scissors, and can't perform the motions right compared to other kids in that age group, to kids who can't write the alphabet or spell their names (the older ones)

And one of the most startling thing I encountered was every now and then we have a country day, where we choose a country, color in the country's flag in the colors and watch a little film about said country.

And I was overseeing the coloring, and one boy just refusing to color

It happens, stubbornness, bad days, 'just don't wanna' s happen, but I sit with him and continue to try and encourage him and figure out why he doesn't want to

And he keeps saying he doesn't know how to color

And I'm like ??? Just pick up the pencil and put it on the paper buddy, cmon

So I'm showing him how, and he refuses to try over and over

So then I try like, coloring while guiding his hand, and again this is a flag were coloring it's a giant rectangle, not much precision is needed

And I realize while I'm helping him, literally moving his hand to color for him, he's CLEARLY never colored before. He's 4, there is no excuse for this when kids start coloring at like, 2 maybe younger.

By 4-5 kids can generally color inside the lines well enough and draw recognizable figures like people and landscapes and pets

Eventually he got into it, understood how to do it and requested to continue on by himself, which was great! I told him I was proud of him and we continued on with our day but it absolutely shocked me that these iPad kids are so beyond stunted like jesus

He didn't know how to grip a pencil, he didn't know the wrist movements and motions, he didn't understand the pressure control, he had no control over where or how he was coloring like, these kids NEED TO learn these things it's STARTLING how many kids don't have these milestones and are just not developing these fine motor skills

Ask any kindergarten attendant and they'll tell you the same thing-

The best thing you can do for a kid is buy them a shitton of construction paper, decorative child-safe scissors, and coloring books

Please please please kids need to cut paper up and color. It helps them develop so many fine motor skils

I was at an MVA call--car into a powerline. Three kids, 9, 5, and 2 years old, trapped in the back of a car, crushed against a pole, live lines on the car. Meaning they were fine as long as they stayed inside but we couldn't cut the car open until the power company came and killed the line.

It took about a half an hour. We were all losing our MINDS thinking about three kids who had just been in a significant car accident, unknown injuries, trapped in a car without their mom, and all these strange noises and people around them. We thought these kids would be terrified.

Nope. All three of them were on devices watching videos. Like they didn't even register what had happened or the danger they'd been in or why people were so worried, or even THAT we were worried.

The most distress I saw the kids in as we drove the 30 minutes to the peds hospital? Was when the 2 year old's device's battery died. She went from sitting unnaturally quietly staring at Cocomelon to SCREAMING and throwing things and biting anyone. She only calmed down when her older brother agreed to share his device with her.

It was spooky af, man.

Cut fabric, sew it together. You just made clothing.

Put some beads on some twine. You just made jewelry.

You can see your productivity.

Chores are the opposite. Yes, your kitchen is clean now. But you'll cook again that evening or the next day and you'll have to start over. Yes, you vacuumed. But two days later it's dusty again. Laundry done, until next week.

Chores never end.

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

buddhist bad driver: stop getting mad you are too attached to material things (your car that I rear ended)

jewish bad driver: according to this highly controversial interpretation of the melachot which five separate rabbis have told me is completely stupid, driving during Shabbat is fine as long as you ask your non jewish neighbor to turn the car on because then the engine is already on. However, using turn signals is prohibited and you can't turn headlights on or off which is why I just leave my high-beams on at all times

muslim bad driver: muslims are never required to yield the right of way to non muslims

neopagan bad driver: if we follow the teachings of the Great Earth Mother, traffic is like a flowing river. Turbulence and disorder are part of nature. "Lanes" are a product of a Christian society obsessed with rigid status and social control. You gotta just go with the flow, man. (jerks wheel and sends 2004 Subaru Outback with COEXIST bumper sticker and Etsy Dreamcatcher hanging from the rear view mirror careening across 3 lanes of traffic to make an exit)

satanist bad driver: much as great Lucifer defied god's oppressive vision of rigid order and obedience, I am treating this "stop" sign as a suggestion

pastafarian bad driver: this interchange is a sacred place. the convoluted mess of twisted, tangled ramps reflects the form of His divine noodley appendages. When I enter it I must meditate on the interchange and lose all awareness of surrounding cars.

amish bad driver: I don't need to pay attention to the road, my horses know the way home (is currently in the oncoming lane and has just run over a toddler because a leaf fell 200 yards away and spooked the horses)

She is not allowed to have another pigeon, or breed Hobble, but occasionally, some perch outside their apartment window.

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