Major human pastimes:
frying dough
classifying things and then arguing about the classifications

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@vitphire
Major human pastimes:
frying dough
classifying things and then arguing about the classifications

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Imagine you're getting wheeled in the back of an ambulance and you pass a sign reading "prototype jack memorial hospital & experimental food research facility"
has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive
times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks
Milo rossi gets instagram comments you wouldnt believe
I saw someone theorise that the city of ur had weapons of mass destruction and that an ancient queen was half alien. And people wonder why he's been out for blood in his videos lately

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the japanese youtuber muunou has been doing a bunch of beatspell runs showcasing different mechanics and builds. it's fascinating stuff
it's fun to learn that the answer to "can you defeat the final boss entirely using backflips?" is "yes, theoretically, but it would take so long that your score would be absolutely terrible"
MOON DAY 20TH JULY WAKE UP EVERYONE WE CELEBRATE THE FACT THAT WE LANDED ON ANOTHER PLANET MORE THAN 50 YEARS AGO!!!
now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead
Hey. Why isnβt the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isnβt that fucked up? Does anyone else think thatβs absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! Thatβs a big deal! Iβve never thought about it before but now that I have, itβs ridiculous to me that thatβs not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why donβt we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
Itβs July 20th. Thatβs the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. Iβm ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and Iβm going to have a goddamn potluck. Youβre all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
Happy moon day to all who celebrate
This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.
Come to the library. We will laminate your penis for free.
I have to go to the library so that they can laminate my penis for free

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βcapitalism worksβ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the worldβs wealth are outliers and should be eaten.
Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose
no iβm afraid itβs even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.
yo mama so hungry... her belly grumbling could wake the dead!
follow for more yo mama facts
yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her belly could wake anyone from even the deepest slumber!
yo mama so hungry... a grumble of her belly could wake skeletons, dracula, and more!
yo mama so hungry... when her belly grumbled, frankenstein sat up and went "what was that sound?"
yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her empty belly caused quite a stir!
yo mama so hungry on an airplane... her belly grumbles were mistaken for turbulence, and the other passengers left posthaste!
My dearest companion,
It is with utmost urgency that I commit to paper an occurrence so singular that I fear it may strain your credulity. I trust this message finds you in sound health and undisturbed repose, for I cannot say the same of those unfortunate enough to dwell within the vicinity of yo esteemed mama.
Having, by circumstances too tedious to recount, passed the evening beneath her roof, I was shortly after midnight awakened by a most dreadful and prolonged rumbling, so profound in its depth that I mistook it first for distant cannonade, then for an earthquake, and finally for the Last Trump itself. Imagine my astonishment upon discovering the disturbance emanated not from Heaven or the deepest bowels of Hell, but from the singularly vacant stomach of yo good mama.
The tumult was of such prodigious force that every sleeper in the household sprang from his bed in confusion. Even the old groundskeeper, who I know for a fact has slept through thunder-bolts and musket fire alike, emerged from his shack demanding to know who had sounded the alarm.
I entreat you, dear friend, to prevail upon yo mama to partake of a modest supper before retiring, lest her entire estate be compelled to awaken at the command of her insatiable stomach.
I remain, with every sentiment of esteem,
Your most obedient and humble servant,
yo mama facts
yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her empty belly can be heard from very far away!
yo mama so hungry... the grumbling of her empty belly once set off an earthquake detector!
yo mama so hungry at sea... her belly grumbling can be heard by the fishes whales sharks and amphibiens under the water!
they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture
there is a world out there I canβt comprehend
behold, context
in retrospect it's pretty funny that the most used computer port for many years just completely sucked shit to the point of there being normie memes about it
we as a society lived like this for years and years
I mean when your biggest tech issue is "takes an extra 10 seconds (at most) to plug in if you're not paying attention" that's pretty good! Imagine if you had a printer and the printer's biggest problem was that the paper took a few tries to insert into the tray. You'd want to fuck that printer.
I'd want to fuck that printer.

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this is sort of sickening to me. can they swap