I believe this is less detached than you think, he is emotionally abusive at best. He is doing this intentionally. He is attempting to gaslight her. She revealed something exploitable about herself, and he's exploiting it. Abusive men start with "small" arguments that seem impossible to have as a rational adult, and so the reaction from the victim is usually "I must be missing something...maybe if I explain." This is the purpose, to start making her feel detached from reality. This is why they come on reddit to ask if they're overreacting - his abuses are working. He has slowly moved the needle to the point she losing grasp on what is rational and true. I can't be sure, obviously, but I would bet the pillow thing is just one of many, many, many things he is doing to slowly skew her reality.
I only say all this not to say OP or anyone in the notes are wrong, but to remind people that the knee jerk reaction you have, of listening to a woman's bizarre situation and going "huh?? what are you talking about??" that's by design from the abuser. He wants you to believe she's crazy and out of touch and weak minded, and that he's just some oaf she's too stupid to dump. He doesn't mind if you think he's an oaf, if it gives him more control of her in the long run.
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