pussy facing the world

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

a severe thursday warning is in effect. take shelter now.

from the bottom of my fucking heart. how are we supposed to live under these conditions.

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

i love describing anything i dont like as "chud". every weapon forged against me is chud, and no weapon formed against me shall prosper #wokeWins

I know it feels good as fuck to cast spells from up there

what book(s) are you currently reading 🎤

"I can't think of anything that screams 'I'm an alcoholic' more than getting non-alcoholic beer" <- what is she on about???

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore