mood lights the mood tonight

the way lestat has been talking about armand and his relationship compared to how nicki's apparition is talking about them is very contrasting. nicki accusing lestat of sleeping with armand in all these different places, nicki accusing lestat of performing fellatio on him. and the language he uses matters here because lestat has been nothing but degrading to armand until now. it's obvious that lestat is fairly scared of armand, so this need to put him down stems partially from a need to regain control. if he can degrade and subjugate armand he can project a different dynamic where he doesn't have to fear that armand could still do so much damage to him. and if he depicts armand as undesirable every occasion he gets, he doesn't have to confront his own preferences, his choices, his mistakes, the fear that louis loved someone who presents such a different image than himself. armand's obsessive personality being so close to the trauma he experienced with magnus. everything compounding to the conclusion that he should hate, reject and be disgusted by armand. and i don't doubt that this is partially true, but then here comes nicki who haunts lestat, who accuses him of desiring armand. who paints a vivid picture. lestat who drinks armand in, who swallows him down, who worships him.