The Archive

No, its pyrite

Fool’s meme…

Common eider

i don't believe you those are just the monty python guys pretending to be housewives

I'm waiting for him to explain to me how his newfound love of drag allowed him to prove I killed my business partner

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.

It's Matteo JWHJ0715!!!!! Very talented director (italian mother, license plate father)

The fact that GLaDOS drops Chell off in a post apocalyptic world but we never get to see canon rugged post apocalyptic survivor Chell has harrowed me for 7 years. That is like the one reason I wanted a Portal 3. I NEED to see her timeskipped with 20% more stress induced gray hairs, and a rifle, and tattered jacket, and bandaged hands, and chilling and cooking a rotisserie headcrab over a fire in her impromptu camp with like her long stretch of chain reaction physics based traps surrounding it, and she is using the companion cube as a bench. I know she has the will to carve it out, out there

and glados has to shuffle her sad gay ass over in the form of a tiny mobile messenger bot because she needs help because the combine or something are breaching aperture and surely even chell will see that it would be a disaster if they got their hands on aperture technology. but in trying to reach her she accidentally triggers a trap and gets bounced around wildly to each of the other traps in succession as is the design and chell just watches the whole thing without helping even though she knows who it is. This is the beginning of portal 3 btw so i hope you imagined that in first person POV

the first pitch for portal 3 that has me on board normally I'm like nah bruh the narrative arc has reached a satisfying conclusion we're done here but the idea of Glados building herself a skittery little mobile body and running after Chell to ask for help delights and intrigues me 'there are rude violent disgusting humans destroying my test chambers' 'so I immediately thought of you. the rudest most violent maniac I've ever known' and technically this is all your fault seeing as YOU disabled my deadly neurotoxin and left me alone and defenceless to the whims of a cruel uncaring world are you going to take responsibility for your actions or are you gping to let these ruffians escape with the power to detonate the planet oh did I not mention the aperture science planetary detonation device?

Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.

My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’”

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

Hey op google what LCD stands for

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

Encounter: junior league hockey god

one more day til the stop sign

Everyone get up it’s stop sign day

Stop sign day

STOP SIGN DAY

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day