A fashionable suit of armour

when I was a teenager I knew a catgirl named spumoni

#'when i was your age there was a catgirl named spumoni' 'this cannot be true. the old woman's mind is failing'

want everyone to know that after i made this post i turned 40

*Holding out my hand in a peace sign* You can't spell execute without cute! *In my other hand drags a long gnarled blade scraping loudly against the stone*

fun fact: swap “princess” for “Nobilis” in any of my posts, and you’ll suddenly “get” that post about quiet walks home from loud places

The Ones Who Walk Into Omelas With Kevlar Vests And Samurai Swords And Desert Eagles And Stare Down All Those Wicked Unrighteous Sinners In Their Droves And Proceed To Totally Fucking Waste Them All In A High Octane Action Sequence That Kicks Insane Amounts Of Ass Think The Raid If It Was Directed By John Woo But When They Finally Get To The Door Of The Basement Where They Keep The Kid Oh Shit It's The Fucking King Of Omelas And He's Wielding The Cursed Obsidian Blade Of The Underworld And They Gotta Waste Him Too But He's Incredibly Fast And Strong Thanks To All The Power He's Getting From The Kid And He Kills Almost All Of Them Until The Leader Draws Him Out With A Double Feint That Leaves Him Wide Open And Cuts His Fucking Head Clean Off With A Single Perfect Stroke And Then They Finally Open The Door To The Basement And Free The Kid

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A SHORT STORY INTO THE KINDLE. ITS THE ONES WHO WALK AWAY FROM OMELAS AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, OMELAS. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I CELEBRATE THE FESTIVAL OF SUMMER OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY WALKED AWAY FROM THE GALAXY'S MOST MORALLY COMPLEX CITY. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2821 WORDS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT

i assumed this was porn

new chess piece called the jester which can move anywhere on the board but can't capture anything. it just gets in the way to annoy your opponent

i was supposed to be in bed like two hours ago but then i remembered that i Promised to write an email tonight. the moral of this story is NEVER promise to write an email.

And you do indeed look very cool and powerful playing Beyblade

what the fuck

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

Kids today need to learn how to pull the evil taffy.

4. Brush away the spiderwebs in the vast and mysterious crypt you're exploring