The Pan with a Plan

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

one more day til the stop sign

Everyone get up it’s stop sign day

Stop sign day

STOP SIGN DAY

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day

Official stop sign day

The fact that GLaDOS drops Chell off in a post apocalyptic world but we never get to see canon rugged post apocalyptic survivor Chell has harrowed me for 7 years. That is like the one reason I wanted a Portal 3. I NEED to see her timeskipped with 20% more stress induced gray hairs, and a rifle, and tattered jacket, and bandaged hands, and chilling and cooking a rotisserie headcrab over a fire in her impromptu camp with like her long stretch of chain reaction physics based traps surrounding it, and she is using the companion cube as a bench. I know she has the will to carve it out, out there

and glados has to shuffle her sad gay ass over in the form of a tiny mobile messenger bot because she needs help because the combine or something are breaching aperture and surely even chell will see that it would be a disaster if they got their hands on aperture technology. but in trying to reach her she accidentally triggers a trap and gets bounced around wildly to each of the other traps in succession as is the design and chell just watches the whole thing without helping even though she knows who it is. This is the beginning of portal 3 btw so i hope you imagined that in first person POV

the first pitch for portal 3 that has me on board normally I'm like nah bruh the narrative arc has reached a satisfying conclusion we're done here but the idea of Glados building herself a skittery little mobile body and running after Chell to ask for help delights and intrigues me 'there are rude violent disgusting humans destroying my test chambers' 'so I immediately thought of you. the rudest most violent maniac I've ever known' and technically this is all your fault seeing as YOU disabled my deadly neurotoxin and left me alone and defenceless to the whims of a cruel uncaring world are you going to take responsibility for your actions or are you gping to let these ruffians escape with the power to detonate the planet oh did I not mention the aperture science planetary detonation device?

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

i don’t need to say it

don’t say anything. just reblog this if you’re thinking of exactly that thing when you see this picture

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death

I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.

I hope I don't ever have to hear "racism is an American thing" and "there's less racism in Europe" ever again 😭 the fact that it wasn't enough that people just had regular experiences with racism to be believable, it took seeing literal white supremacist riots?? Okay. No more "they're European so their politics-" are the og source of racism, yes. 👍🏾

When half the planet currently speaks English, Spanish, Portuguese, and/or French... Well i just think those languages came from somewhere but I can't quite put my finger on it...

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"