queen marcy

"Kill yourself" is basic. "I hope your fandom gets a new installment that is objectively a great work but also tonally dissonant from the previous ones in a way that generates a huge newbie boom of people uninterested and hostile towards the history of the franchise" is smart. It's possible. It's terrifying. It's happening right now.

Don’t do this to me.

official mama post

mind if I come over and behave somewhat like a scared animal before I adjust

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

Evidently the “amputees are the FUNNIEST motherfuckers” thing extends to their parents as well.

After my stepdad had his first leg amputated, his favorite shirt to wear was one that said “it’s official I’m on my last leg”

Update 10 years later she left me for a man 😍

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”

why do we bother with I hate my partner jokes when your boss is right there

I love my wife. my boss though? that ball and chain??

Bestie, your brain, your VISION, ahead of your time

idiot jail for ignorant beasts

Sisyphus

one must imagine sisyphus ouppy

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing