guess I need a title

The thing about Spock being hot is that he isn't framed like he's supposed to be. Yknow? Like the cinematography and the way other characters interact with him doesn't typically imply you the viewer are meant to desire him carnally. So it can be easy to forget for a moment until it just kind of suddenly hits you. And "wait Spock's hot" is perhaps one of the least original thoughts one can have but nevertheless I'm kind of continuously having this revelation

Furthermore he's like. Statuesque. He has a certain poise and grace about him rarely found in men. He's cunty but understated. She ate and she chewed with her mouth closed. You know what I mean? And the whole point of him is that "carnal desire" is extremely off limits. You CANNOT fuck him. Unless.......? And this is the repressed erotic intrigue that invented fanfiction

There are people who have kinks involving glasses and there are people who have kinks involving compression stockings, so by the Rule of Three there must be someone out there who gets hard for RSI wrist braces to complete the "aroused by assistive devices popularly associated with nerds" trifecta.

they carpal on my tunnel til i acute burning sensation

Person whose biggest fantasy is getting a handjob from someone who has a special wrist brace specifically for jerking cock because you need a different kind of support to wank someone off than you do for data entry.

You can tell which people in the notes definitely don't have this particular kink because they're the dipsticks who are like "well, wrist braces are basically just gloves, right? There's lots of people with a glove kink."

this is probably the worst place to give this take but i think that if you’re asexual due to medical/chemical/hormonal etc reasons (and you could theoretically be “cured”), you still count as asexual. like i don’t think the “why” matters very much.

I mean I'm a lesbian due to medical/chemical/hormonal reasons (used to be bi, grapefruit-sized ovarian cyst exploded, no attraction to men since), people get very invested in the idea of their sexuality as 100% completely unchangeable. And I'm sure that's true for some people, but it's very silly of them to say that when sexuality is *potentially* changeable, the present state doesn't actually exist. That's like saying someone isn't a real [job] because they could theoretically get a different job.

Video game boss that's all bellowing bravado and big untargeted fuck-your-life attacks that hit half the arena, then for phase two they're like "hold up'' and put on a pair of ridiculously tiny glasses, and suddenly they're ten times as dangerous because now they can actually see what they're aiming at.

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

i don't understand having opinions on other peoples clothes and bodies... Other humans are not created to look pleasant to you...

actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

"but they support [dictator] and [violent action]!" okay is it possible that a combination of propaganda, election rigging, and authoritarian crackdowns on dissent could lead a population to look like it supports something most people would find distasteful under more reasonable circumstances