this is great. slowly we will build a house

#extradirty

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Jules of Nature
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Product Placement

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cherry valley forever

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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if i look back, i am lost
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@tucsonhorse
this is great. slowly we will build a house

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I just saw a short where this comedian Red Richardson (don't know anything about his comedy or politics otherwise, I've never seen him before) touched on something I have said many times...
"in the age of no body shaming, there is still one thing you're allowed to body shame apparently, and that is men with small dicks. Greta Thunberg was arguing on Twitter with a guy called Andrew Tate, who is on house arrest in Romania, for sex trafficking. Do you know what she said? 'you have small dick energy'. She could have said 'Andrew, you're on house arrest, in Romania, for sex trafficking' but apparently on the list of crimes that rates below having a small dick."
Small dick jokes have always been body shaming, sexist and intersexist. They shouldn't be tolerated
I get into fights with people about this all the time! They're like "This isn't body shaming!" which is wild because the penis is a body part and you're asserting the size and shape of it is shameful.
Then they're all like, "Well, no, I'M not saying that it is. I'm using THEIR MINDSET to insult them." Babe, you are using the notion that the shape of someone's body makes them a bad person. That's body shaming. Whether it originates with them or with you, you are using the tool of the oppressor. The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.
XBOX=PREGNANT
Come on man
It is like almost looping around to parody that this is a game about a pregnant woman and her Super Special Child and SHE DOESNT EVEN GET A FUCKING NAME
Abort that thang

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if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably forĀ āritual purposesā it meansĀ āi have no fuckin clueā
but if they say it was forĀ āfertility ritualsā they meanĀ āi know exactly what it was for but i dont want to sayĀ āancient dildoāā
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. Itās got a LOT of objects itās way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in theĀ ādirty potsā category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, theseāre accessioned objects in the museumās collection - better get down to bidness.Ā
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. Iād be like,Ā
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say ālike heās hella-constipatedā). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figureās head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.Ā
I visited the museumās online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.Ā
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. Itās all gonna be ok, I swear.
This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, ātalk to me about your work.ā
Plus itās hilarious.
I love ancient art history !!!!!
@lowercasetrashwriter
Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says āThereās a lot of private parts in here but weāre dedicated to displaying history so we wonāt censor these. Enter at your own riskā or something. Itās prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.
Fucking Puritanism.
Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.
if you are going to need some kind of sedative for 4th of july fireworks for your pets NOW IS THE TIME TO SCHEDULE THOSE APPOINTMENTS TO ASK FOR THEM
NOT WHEN ITS 2 DAYS AWAY
I feel like to really get this circulating as it should, we need it superimposed over the picture of the turkey going in the fridge. (I can't do it I'm on my phone.)
With the 250th anniversary it's likely to be especially bad this year!
guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone
lmfao the Scots in town for the World Cup have made a pilgrimage to Boston's world-famous Cop Annihilating Slide
Me: āWhy does the cop get flung out but everyone else I see just go down it normally? What did the cop do?ā
Me: āOhhhh āļø itās because the slide is alive and hates cops. This is good.ā
I think abt this tiktok all the time
Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

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today I had a dream that there was a species of deer calledĀ āice deerā and every winter theyād travel up North and have their babies in a frozen cavern and the babies would be sort of comatose in the cold, and then the deer would leave the babies there and migrate South until spring, and just before the first thaw, theyād go back up North and find their babies and wait for them to thaw out and wake up and theyād nurse them.
But with the Earth getting warmer and spring coming sooner and winters being less harsh up North, the babies were starting to thaw out too early, so when the Ice Deer got to them, theyād been awake already and starved to death.
So there were only like, 300 Ice Deer left. They were bigger than elks, all white with blue antlers that even the females grew, and I realized the only solution would be to somehow lead them North every year when it started thawing. As a human I could check the weather and the ice in the North Pole and when it was time to go to the babies, even if the deer thought it was still winter.
So I had to devise a plan to get the Ice Deer to follow me North to their babies on time every spring, and it just became part of my life. I did other stuff and lived life as usual while keeping track of the weather near the end of winter and Iād be like, welp itās time to lead the deer North, and Iād set out to find their winter home.
And a lot of people were likeĀ āthis isnāt a permanent solution. We need to focus on climate change so itās fixed for good.ā
and I was like dang I know but the Ice Deer need us right now so, someoneās gotta do it? And it just became a thing I did.
ppl messaging me likeĀ āI thought this was real for a minuteā:
: O !!!!!!!!
Everyone asking is absolutely allowed to use the Ice Deer in their fantasy world building and in fact I encourage it bc I love the idea of this one made up animal quietly linking all of your universes.
BREAKING NEWS: screenshots from your phone not an appropriate format for submitting work in college classes.
my partner was a TA for an intro-to-subject course in grad school. finals week rolls around and the students are required to submit this big module assignment they've had like a month to do for a decent chunk of their grade. if you've submitted everything, you'll see a summary screen with a star beside each module name showing it's been completed.
an hour before the assignment deadline, he receives an email from a student claiming they completed the assignment, but the system is not allowing them to submit. there's an image attached to the email. partner goes to open what he assumes is a screenshot of that summary page.
instead, he sees that the student has taken a photo of their laptop from about 2 feet away, with that page open. strange, but it wouldn't be the first time a college freshman has lacked the tech literacy to take a screenshot. he almost doesn't look twice at it, but he realizes something about it just feels a little bit...off. so he zooms in.
the student had CUT STARS OUT OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER and TAPED THEM TO THEIR LAPTOP SCREEN BESIDE EACH MODULE NAME. you could see where they actually had completed the first couple of modules, but the stars for all the subsequent ones were like, double the size of the first two and exactly as uneven/irregular as you'd expect if you were freehanding them with scissors.
probably would've been quicker and easier to just photoshop them in but no, this student took a refreshingly creative, arts-and-crafts approach to getting an academic misconduct case
i really need healthy, able-bodied people to understand that there are many illnesses that cannot be cured and which, in many cases, don't even have effective treatments
and that constantly putting the onus on the people who have to live with these illnesses to simply "get better" is an incredibly shitty thing to do
and that it's not "toxic" for chronically ill and disabled people to feel down, and occasionally talk about how down they feel, in a world which continually disregards their suffering and makes their lives much more difficult than they need to be, sometimes deliberately
and that telling these people that they continue to be ill only because they haven't tried a certain exercise, supplement, therapy or diet will only further damage their health by causing them stress
and that doctors are not only not infallible magic-workers, but are very often actively prejudiced against their patients; especially female patients and patients who belong to marginalised and minority groups
please just understand this and accept that the chronically-ill and disabled people you speak to know more about their health and their limitations and what works or doesn't work for them than you ever could
thank you
riding the trolley out of omelas because i'm a little too shaken to walk rn and i just heard this weird thump from the tracks. probably nothing
#they arrested the trolley driver and the guy in charge of track switching #and i hear they're both being offered some kind of plea deal if they agree to testify against the other person
awarding this the first good riff on this post award. thank you tumblr user anyagobsin. this is the first good riff anyone's had on this post.

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𦓠Wearing sunglasses means nobody knows where you're looking, right? š¦“
"Capitalism is temporary. Dykes are forever"
Seen in NYC