This tweet read me to filth
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Keni
styofa doing anything
One Nice Bug Per Day
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
h

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
AnasAbdin
hello vonnie


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@tucsonhorse
This tweet read me to filth

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why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer
I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree
yo…. when jet breaks in the tea shop and accuses zuko and iroh of beinh firebenders….
do you think any of the patrons looked at zukos scarred face - obviously done by a firebender - and immediately think jet was an asshole? like
jet: hes a firebender!!!!
patrons, thinking about the backstory they concocted for zuko and iroh where their home was invaded by firebenders and they barely survived with their lifes so they could come and have a peaceful life selling tea in a city the war doesnt touch:
Jet: He’s a firebender!
The Patrons to the Tea Shop internally: You fucking stupid, sir? I think you might be stupid.
#if someone shouted something racialized at a food service worker and he pulled swords#if be like ‘yeah that’s fair’
He didn’t even use his own swords. He took them from a guard and the guards let him
so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge
we’re banning use of the phrase judeo-christian. there truly is no such thing. what people mean is christian interpretation of the old testament and all the ideas and ‘values’ they pushed onto the world for 2 millennia and they’re too lazy to distinguish that from the fundamentally different ethno-religious group christians took the book from in the first place

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Interested ✅️
Legit just saw someone say that their dog is in pain but it was "normal and to be expected with her age" so they aren't doing any pain management. So this your reminder that age is not a disease. Pets deserve comfort in their last years too.
the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system
this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler
not really sure how to get her out though
for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her
ok but ignoring the fact they just forgot to cover hudsons lil gun hip tattoo let’s actually say shane has that tattoo. he got it when he scored his first hat trick and got so fucking wasted with the team for the first time ever that they convinced him to let one of their girlfriends give him a tattoo to celebrate and he’s like okey in his lil drunk haze of being around so many people but so happy and full of adrenaline and when this girl asks what he wants he goes “a gun” and someone calls out “why!” and he smiles coly and is like “because I’m a good shot” and everyone’s hootin and hollerin and someone grabs his shoulders and is shaking him and messing up his hair and he’s laughing along and then after a minute the girl comes with a little sketch of a gun and goes “where do you want it?” and he starts to freak a bit because oh is he really going to do this and then the girl is like “what about on your hipbone? that’s hot” and she obviously flirting even shane realises that but then an old timer on the team (bros like 29) that shane secretly has a crush on is like “hell yeah rookie, girl is right that’s hot as fuck” and shane just nods in agreement and then he’s being positioned by the girl and suddenly his sweats are pulled down below his hipbone and a stencil of the gun is pressed to his hip and he doesn’t really remember much after that but he does remember waking up with it and thinking i wonder what Rozanov will say and then pinching himself at that thought.

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Here's some summer advice from a guy who worked in skincare:
-you need to wear sunscreen if youre going out in the sun. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You don't need the expensive designer stuff but please just wear sun protection.
-you still need sunscreen if you are black or dark-skinned. Not only can you still sunburn, but direct UV light exposure also increases your risk of skin cancer, no matter how much melanin you have. There's tons of brands out there that are made for darker skin tones that don't leave that ashy finish behind, you just need to know the terms to look for. Look for the words "tinted, matte, mattifying," and shea butter-based sunscreens. There's also lots of brands that are formulated with your skin tone in mind. I don't have any to recommend unfortunately because I don't have experience needing that, but I know they are out there.
-if youre very hairy and cream sunscreens get caught in your body hair and glob up, get a spray sunscreen instead. It'll get in all the nooks and crannies instead of getting caught in your hair. Spray sunscreens are also good for those who have troubles with the effort and time it takes to put on sunscreen. Just make sure you spray it in a well ventilated area or, better yet, under cover outside, like on a porch or balcony.
-dont believe the fearmongering about chemical sunscreens. They're much more reliably protective than mineral sunscreens are. Thats because theyre chemically formulated in lab settings to be consistently protective and keep on shelves for long periods of time, while mineral sunscreens have a bad habit of ingredient separation and uneven formula mixes. Really, unless youre swimming directly in the great barrier reef or you have a specific skin condition or allergy to the ingredients in chemical sunscreens (the only customer i actually recommended our mineral sunscreen to over our chemical one was a regular who had skin cancer), you don't need a mineral sunscreen. Your wallet will also suffer less.
-you might have to double cleanse in the shower to get all sunscreen residue off your skin. Thats a good thing actually, it means your sunscreen is really good at barrier protection, but its also annoying. The way to do this without drying out your skin too much is by doing one quick cleanse of your skin with about half the soap you's typically use just to loosen up that residue and dirt, and then another deep, proper clean like you usually would that will get it all off. While leftover residue isn't really a health risk at all, it can clog your pores over time and cause uncomfortable acne breakouts, as well as trap dust and dirt under all the gunk. It can also get on your bedsheets.
-if you double cleanse, I recommend moisturizing after because it does dry you out a bit. You don't need a big fancy designer moisturizer either, just go to the drug store and get their basic pump bottle of body lotion, and separate facial moisturizer (the separation matters, the skin on your face is a lot more thin and delicate than the skin on your body). The main thing you want to look for with any product is that you arent allergic or sensitive to the active ingredients and avoid anything that uses alcohol as a binding ingredient.
-hats, hats, hats!! They keep the sun out of your eyes and your face!! You cant put sunscreen on your eyeballs!! Wear hats!!
-go have fun!! You can have your beach days and sun fun without cancer risks!!
and if you think "what's the big deal? I don't even sunburn that much!"
neither did my mother but she still had to have most of her upper lip reconstructed after skin cancer removal surgery last year
wear your sunscreen
-if you have any tattoos, unprotected sun exposure ages and destroys them faster than anything else. If nothing else motivates you to put on sunscreen, do it for the time and money you spent on your art
-mineral sunscreens work just fine and come in spray versions that are much easier to spread. I break out nasty bad with chemical sunscreens so I use mineral ones exclusively and the spray stuff works fine. That said, if my only option is chemical sunscreen then I use that and itch for a while (okay like a week) because that's better than skin cancer.
i'd make a joke about "let the HUSBAND giggle under the covers and tell HIS WIFE to put that camera away before dying before HIS WIFE'S story starts" but lets be real he'd still get more fanart
sir do you understand that you are being criticized right now
The best thing about tumblr is you can just make a criticism of a very specific person completely unprompted and then that person will appear as if summoned in your notes to prove your point for you.
@yogsothoththekeyandthegate LITERALLYYY
immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand
#at least once a month I think about that one post about laminating a paper towel#and how that makes it immortal but also forever prevents it from fulfilling its true purpose#yes you will live. but at the cost of everything that makes you You
(courtesy of noknowshame)
Thagomizer or not, it'd probably still be about as peaceful as other large herbivores in the class - the cape buffalo, or the joyful hippopotamus.
"this immortal and/or otherwise supernatural character is beyond the bounds of gender! They are androgynous! They are way to explore fluid relationship dynamics and love beyond ideas about male and female!"
"so their default form is-"
"oh a man for sure"

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ngl this is the funniest procedural thing ive made in a while i saw https://genders.wtf/gauntlet/ and realized that the only way it could be better is if it went forever
kinda curious to see what ppl get
this is great. slowly we will build a house