He wants to fuck her so bad it makes him look stupid

That's his fiancee.

This movie 🩵

Also I hope everyone knows that Miette was fostered before she was adopted, and her foster mom loved that little kitten so much and always hoped she’d gone to a good home. this tweet got so popular that she recognized Miette and reached out to her current mom, and was able to share previously unseen baby pictures

You mean, she saw Miette was kicked like the football and did nothing to help put Mother in jail for a thousand years? I am appalled.

Baby Miette!!!

Babe wake up new Miette lore just dropped

IT’S MIETTE!!!!

dsmp is still deep in my bones and she will never leave me

it’s a shame more vampire media doesn’t pull from vampire bat behavior because they’re such sweeties. they can only survive their incredibly specialized diet because bats will share blood with colony members that didn’t find a meal! there’s evidence that suggests the donors sometimes initiate this behavior themselves by approaching hungry bats! the colonies are mostly harems of females with a few males but they’ve been observed letting unrelated males in when it gets cold so they can all stay warm! cute little social critters!

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

Has it already been proposed that Hatsune Miku is essentially the digital age successor to the cultural niche originally established by Betty Boop, did I see that somewhere or is it a weird thing my autism told me

Wait is it actually even common knowledge that Betty Boop's original popularity, taking off in the 20's, revolved around the idea that she was just a celebrity singer? A hip new performer on the scene who just happened to be a theatrical cartoon character, which in the 20s was still like a "modern technology" in the eyes of an entire generation, and she was more popular than just any old musical cartoon because 1) she was considered sexy and 2) she performed swing music, which at the time was also an ultra modern kind of thing, baffling (or downright scary) to lot of older people

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

I keep fishing my phone out of my pocket at work just to get a hit of this image