Not Now Sweetie, Mommy’s Playing Sims

Turning dog gravity off so they all get whisked away

avoidance is lowkey funny because it’s like i don’t want love on the off chance that it gets taken away from me and then i have to become john wick or something

i think abt anne rice’s answer to “what are your work habits for a novel?” probably every single day

Will the owner of the green amoeba please come to the parking lot? Your amoeba is being towed 🦠

you guys do realise walking doesn't actually move you anywhere right? it just destroys you entirely and places a perfect copy of you right in front of where you were standing

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

happy pride month 2021 I ain’t quittin’ you…

ppl who hate chihuahuas are nothing to me

Children would be so jealous if they knew how many stickers we have in dive bar bathrooms