shrek 2 was okay

Grabbing an elf by the ears like handlebars and riding them but not like in a sexual way i just crash into a wall killing us both

Teqila got me involved in a six elf pile up

"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"

Why are people now saying "LARP" when they mean "poser". It's confusing.

Everyone is always parroting The Buzzword Of The Month without actually knowing what it means or where it comes from, make it stop

Kinda like how "POV" went from "(implied first person) Point Of View" to "there is a video"

Really one of my most strongly held beliefs is that it’s deeply unhealthy and soul-stunting for children to only consume media the world’s most coddling and judgemental adults determined was ‘age-appropriate’, and watching stuff that would horrify your parents behind their back should be encouraged and rewarded.

love and light to all of you but the people reblogging this to agree and then citing episodes of literally Spongebob Squarepants as examples had very different childhoods than me.

See what no one tells you about having parents who have been successfully polyamorous and active in the tri-state kink community for 29 years is that as their adult child, there is a high probability that at any event you go to someone will have slept with one or both of your parents. There is no escaping this. They've been doing it for decades. They've lain claim to like half the east coast

at 250 notes there is at least an 80% chance someone who has read this has slept with one or both of my parents. this is just the life i lead. i have learned to be at peace with this knowledge.

How dare?! He worked hard for that shiny! Rude! What about his cuteness discount?

remember when Elementary adapted the holmes stories and made Watson a woman which removed the gay subtext but then made Moriarty also a woman and gave them weird lesbian subtext. masterful technique. the never-before-seen uno yuri reverse

So can non-disabled people stop doing that thing where they act like it’s morally righteous to force yourself to work while you’re sick and assume taking sick days automatically equates to laziness. Any time now. That’d be great

The leader of the scout group I help out at approached me out of hours while I was walking to work to tell me that people have been talking behind my back because I missed more sessions than I attended this term (on account of having Covid twice) and was like “We all show up when we’re sick because we take responsibility” and I felt really shitty and guilty and cried the whole workday then I got home and told my mum and she was like “So they want you to throw up on the kids? That’s dodgy. They don’t even pay you. Stop going” and a wave of serenity hit me like a bus