Paraphernalia of a Life

"one side of me says stop so you don't blow the other side says what would i stop for opposite as the day and night."

coach said serving face is as important as serving balls or something along those lines. ANYWAY. here's my own interpretation of the entire Cargill Men's team (even tho they have two nonbinary members)

Hundreds gathered in San Francisco’s Chinatown as city leaders and community members celebrated the opening of the world’s first Chinese LGBTQ museum. Mayor Daniel Lurie joined supporters for the ribbon-cutting ceremony at the OUT Museum, a space dedicated to preserving and sharing Chinese queer history and culture. The museum was founded by Chinese artist and LGBTQ advocate Xiangqi Chen, who spent more than 20 years promoting queer visibility in China before moving to the United States in 2023.

And they were like "What?"

And I was like, "Agility isn't the ultimate form of preparedness. Contingency is. Agility still requires you to flounder and figure out a solution in the moment, but if you have a contingency plan, all you have to do is implement it."

And they were like "But you can't make contingency plans for every situation!"

And I was like, "Yeah, you basically can if you just identify all of your basic dependencies and contingency plan around the loss of any dependency," and then I gave a few examples.

And they all stared at me like I'm an alien.

As he described to the interviewer a moment of panic and how he he overcame, the interviewer said, in one of those, summarise-last-answer-given-with-appropriate-levels-of-respect-in-order-to-proceed-to-next-question phrasing’s, “Wow, so you rose to the occasion -“

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You are capable of harm

You have some level of power and agency

Ergo it is your responsibility to communicate your needs and boundaries

If you lie to someone about something being okay when it isn't, that is on you

Something being a trauma response doesn't exempt it from harming your relationships and the other people in them

Enabling your trauma responses will not make them go away, and it is your responsibility to work on yourself for your own wellbeing as well as the people around you

Being A Victim cannot be a pillar of your identity forever, and being victimized does not make you incapable of harming other people (see above)

You are not a mouse in a jean jacket you are an eel with a gun / adult human being who can use your words even if it's Scary

Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.

Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.

It can not always be about your preferred topic.

Autistic mom of two autistic kiddos here. I do something with my kids called playing the good friend game. I have them ask me a question like “what did you do this weekend” and then I respond with something they don’t like ie: “I ate some sushi for dinner on Saturday! It was delicious!” Their job is to not make a gross face and not to yuck my yum. They have to ask me a follow up question! Minimum one about what I liked about the sushi or who I went with or what I ordered etc. and they have to be kind. I change up what I answer with for the initial question and for all follow ups. It’s incredible!

You can learn how to chit chat about things because you care about the people around you. Small talk is banal and boring but the people in your life are real and lovely and nuanced. Get to know them. You can do it. You’ll build relationships that last. Don’t do it for the sake of small talk. Do it because you’re deeply invested in learning how to see the people around you as whole pictures.

You can grab my Choice of Games titles on sale as part of their Pride Month celebrations. The links below are to Steam, but you can also get them on sale on whatever device you play CoG games on. Enjoy!

Also, there's an interview up in which I talk about my thought processes writing queer characters, how my approach has evolved over time, and lots more. I'm wordy when talking about writing queer characters and queerness in settings (and, well, talking about anything to do with writing), so if you have any thoughts or questions about this, or about my approaches in general, I'd love to hear them!

Here's the interview!

And finally, here's where you can play the first three chapters of my dark fantasy WIP, The Earth Has Teeth!

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Crème de la Crème (40% off): Climb to the very top of the class at your exclusive private school for socialites! Will you study hard, find a perfect match, or embrace scandal? A 440,000 word interactive novel.

Noblesse Oblige (40% off): Spark romance amid secrets in a crumbling mansion! What will you sacrifice for love? Can you trust your own heart? A 180,000 interactive gothic novella.

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Blood Money (30% off): By the power of your blood, you and your ghosts will take over your crime family! A 290,000 word standalone dark fantasy interactive novel.