i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

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i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

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It is true that woman had it worse back then in ancient times. But femenist retellings don't quite understand *how* was it bad.
That's why most of this books just go straight up to making every single man a rapist/sexual abuser except for their token "good male".
And don't get me wrong, yeah sexual assault was worse back then than it is now. But y'all also think is the only way in which woman were fucked over?
This books never center about other things like:
- Arranged marriages
- The pressure to have multiple children and how pregnancies could deteriorate the health of women
- Lack of education
- No hope for pursuing other thing but motherhood
Besides, in many such cases, the main protag of this books are princesses. Not lower class women.
Take Hippodamia for example, she was a princess. And while she experienced sexual abuse, thankfully, she never experienced rape itself. This because her status gave her a level of protection.
Princesses had guards (sometimes they were castrated, depends on what ancient civilization you're talking about), maids, protection of all kinds. It would be almost impossible for a lower class man such as a soldier to even try to sexually assault a princess without consecuences.
This doesn't mean a princess couldn't go through rape. But in that case it would be coming, usually, from someone close to her. Someone close to her in power. A family member or her husband, for example.
So they don't even explore the subject correctly, nor explore other types of pressure princesses could have on them for the simple fact of being women.
Anyways that's my rant for today
this is the problem i have with a lot of contemporary “feminist” or “female rage” literature. a lot of the time the male characters in these works will all be rapists or openly sexually exploitative in some way. this is not a negative thing to represent, but it becomes problematic when sexual exploitation and rape are the ONLY ways men are ever depicted as misogynistic (more below the cut).
misogyny is not exclusively about sexual exploitation. there are plenty of men who do not sexually exploit women who are still misogynistic, or who still practice misogynistic behavior. examples include, but are in no way limited to:
- men who believe that women are inherently physically and/or mentally weaker than men
- men who believe that the primary goal of a woman always is or always should be to bear children
- men who believe that all women are innate caregivers or are more empathetic, kinder, more maternal, etc. than men
- men who constantly interrupt or talk over women even if they do not realize they are doing it, and do not do the same to other men
- men who will not do housework or childcare because it is a woman’s job
furthermore, rape culture and misogyny as a whole are systemic issues. beyond rape culture, systemic misogyny extends to the things op listed, among other things such as wedding culture, wage gaps, sex segregation in sports, poor health care, etc.
the problem with only representing misogyny through rape is not the representation of rape. it is, like op said, reductive; it erases the other, very real ways in which women have been and continue to be oppressed. it insinuates that rape is the only way that misogyny takes form, which in turn suggests that any man who is not a rapist or sexual abuser, such the token “good man” referenced by op, is automatically not misogynistic at all and a perfect love interest. always making this singular non-rapist man the love interest begins to allude to the idea that “good” men, men who do not take advantage of women, are owed romance and sex.
even if this is not the original intent of the author, and it often isn’t, it is both a noticeable pattern in contemporary lit and a sign of not being a very good writer. the overuse of rape as a way to show that women were oppressed in ancient greece is, quite frankly, lazy as hell.
i could also point out how these so-called “feminist” and “woman-centered” tellings and retellings tend to neglect to include healthy relationships between women or women other than the protagonist who have more than one personality trait, but that’s a gripe for another time.
so women are supposed to grin and bear the books, the comics, the movies, the plays, the tv shows, the stories, the sci-fi, the translated ancient poems, the fucking millennia of men writing about their self inserts torturing women and it being declared as High Art by other men, we’re supposed to read it in our free time, study it in classrooms, include their styles in our own writing, accept their cultural influence as natural, watch it in the cinema, write about it, talk about it, accept it, aspire it, but men can’t tolerate three seconds of female wish fulfilment of a woman snapping the wrist of a creep without feeling personally kicked in the balls.
This reminds me of something I observed in college while I was doing my honors thesis on women in modern horror films. I watched a LOT of horror during that time as part of my research, and sometimes that was done with my family around.
And my dad and brothers? Were deeply disturbed by the movie Jennifer’s Body. I was flabbergasted. It’s not scary! It’s not even that gory. But they were horrified by it. These men who grew up on 70s slashers were legitimately shook by 90 minutes of Megan Fox eating a few teenage boys, mostly off-screen.
Similarly, my all-male reading panel for my thesis? Were so disturbed by my synopsis of the film Teeth that they couldn’t even talk about it. One of them said he couldn’t look at his wife for a week after reading it.
Again, grown-ass men who study and teach media for a living. Who definitely watch and enjoy horror movies. One of whom was a huge Tarantino buff. We watched and read worse in his intro to mass media class! But one movie about a girl whose vag could bite was enough to haunt him.
Then of course you have things like the Gone Girl backlash–men yelling that Amy Dunne is evil and women clamoring to assure everyone that they know she is not someone to emulate–the backlash against Carol Danvers, and, more recently, the griping from MRAs against the upcoming film Hustlers, which is about strippers scamming their Wall Street clients.
My conclusion? Most men–at least most straight, cisgender men, who are both my sample population and most of the ones whining that Carol is a “villain”–are perfectly fine with, and desensitized to, media where men do violence to women (horror movies), or men do violence to men (horror and action movies). They’re even sort of fine when women do violence to women (“ooooo cat fight!”).
But they get intensely uncomfortable when women are depicted doing any kind of violence to men, especially in films that tilt the balance of power to the other side of the m/f gender binary beyond a single moment or scene.
So woman as flesh-eating monster with men as her preferred cuisine? Woman who responds to unwanted sexual contact by biting it off? Woman who frames her cheating husband for murder? Woman whose response to harassment–behavior that many of the loudest whiners know is both creepy and reflective of their own thoughts/actions–is to break something?
Too scary. Unacceptable. Disturbing. These men hate being presented with the idea, even in fiction, that their position of power is socially constructed, that it could easily be flipped the other way. It terrifies them.
In feeling that terror, they experience a tiny modicum of what living, existing, moving, being perceived as a woman in the world is like.
And they flinch every time.
Here have a newspaper comic from 1993
Learned to stay away from people with hateful energy who want you to swear you will never leave, who make you work so hard to convince them you have good intentions only to take their moods and fears out on you until you want to leave for your own wellbeing. And then they will say "I knew it. You always hated me. It always ends the same. Everyone is the same. I can't trust anybody". No. You push people to this point by taking everything out on them no matter what they do. Work on yourself. Take accountability. You can't trust yourself that's the problem. You can do better and change your patterns and your relationships will change with them.

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The three tiers of queer sff:
Broke: what is worldbuilding? Made in a lab to be as blandly inoffensive as possible. Time to randomly namedrope terms like 'nonbinary' and 'ace' while doing zero work actually incorporating them into the world or characters and have someone give a speech about how valid they are. Lines like 'I'm too ace for this' while never exploring the concept of asexuality or aromanticism and still having very central romance plotlines is common. I hate it here learn how to write realistic dialogue and fully realized characters I'm begging.
Woke: more ore less typical sci-fi and fantasy but It’s Queer Now. Might include in-universe queerphobia to be struggled against or may have queer identities be fully normalized. Can be done bad or well depending on the skill of the writer. A good way to explore our contemporary ideas of gender and sexuality or to have a bit of a power fantasy with lesbian princesses and trans knights. There will probably be a bisexual love triangle.
Bespoke: what is a gender. What is monogamy. What is polyamory. What is romance. What is platonic. Time to show you the most fucked up uncategorizable relationship you’ve ever seen. There may be weird ass metaphorical sex
fuck it
Book recs: tier three queer sff
AKA books that tackle gender, sexuality and relationships in ways that come off as deeply alien and non normative to our present day culture, frequently featuring actual aliens.
For details on the books, check under the readmore! My personal favorites are marked with an *
A note: as I'm generally more into sci-fi than fantasy, this list skews heavily toward the former. Feel free to make your own recommendations in the notes if you know of more titles!
If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!
[images: photo collages of the covers of all the named books, first all of the books in one image and then in groups of three before the descriptions.]
the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues
I honestly think Gen-Z and younger simply does not understand how recent widespread smartphone adoption is.
I am not that old, and I didn't have a smartphone until probably late high school. For most of my life, many if not most people were not walking around with a magic internet machine in their pocket that they pulled out and used constantly for everything.
reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world
How old were you when you got your first smartphone?
Younger than 10
10-13
13-16
17-20
21-25
26-30
31-40
41-50
51-60
Older than 60
Never had a smartphone
I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.

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Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.
Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.

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do you remember why you followed prev
yes :)
no :)
efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girls™"