🧝♀️ whether I’m an Enchanting Elven Dream Catalyst, or a Horrifying Eldritch Nightmare Adversary depends mostly on your attitude 🧝♀️
✨🦋✨
If I follow you back it will be under my main blog: @lily-leaves
🌷30s, she/they🌷
Call me Lily! I'm a queer nonbinary person in my 30s with a number of chronic illnesses and this is side blog but it's probably the one I use most often. It is run on a queue. You'll find things like:
Queer/LGBTQIA+ discourse and memes
Disability discourse and memes
Neurodivergence discourse and memes
Mental health tips and tricks and positivity
Aggressively hope-punk posts and calls for solidarity and coalition building
some USAmerican political bullshit (ie, specifically about legislation or politicians) and memes about the same
some political shit and awareness posts for other places
Tumblr Heritage Posts and other shitpost hilarity
General positivity posts, some cute animals and the occasional fandom post and shit, idk
I try to tag for common triggers but I do not always remember - if you have something specific you would like me to Always tag, send me an ask or a DM and I can add it to my list and I will do my best (ex: mushrooms)
I'm an adult and I don't curate this blog with minors in mind, but besides the gratuitous use of the word "fuck" and the occasional political vent post with an empty death threat, there won't really be anything here that would merit an R rating (except in Florida which doesn't want to admit that sex ed is important or that queer people Exist). So if you're a minor you're welcome to follow, but I probably won't follow you back.
For everyone I do follow back, it will be under my main blog: @lily-leaves
FAQ & tag explanation beneath the cut
My pronouns are she/her or they/them or any of the neutral neopronouns.
Current diagnoses include: POTS, chronic migraines, myoclonus, autism, adhd
If you don't want to see USAmerican bullshit block the tag: "usian bullshit" or block "politics" if you don't want to see any politics (incl international) but would like to still see other cursed americana and societal issues (I use "politics" for literal polices and legislation and politicians).
And there's a bunch of things in "activism" too, I tag ICE as "la migra", and I'm trying to tag anything that implies you Have To do something with "compiti" (Italian for "homework")
No I'm not go to stop using the word queer for myself and the rest of the queer community; if you don't like the word you're not in the community and that's why I have two tags, kthanks.
Other Tags:
Ask Lily: my asks
C'est Moi: selfie tag
Personal: self explanatory
Lore Drop: personal nonsense in the tags or on reblogs
Bun Chronicles: pictures and tales of my rabbits
Snek Chronicles: pictures of my kenyan sand boa
Get Therapized Nerd: me vaguing about being in therapy again
Frens: rl friends and people I met here but talk to a lot
Moot squad: moots I don't know outside of tumblr
Hellsite (affectionate): Tumblr community stuff and heritage posts
Tumblr bullshit: when staff is being awful, or tumblr is broken again
Positivity: peep this tag if you need a pick-me-up. See also "comfort", "hope-punk", and "good news"
Relationships: love in many forms (see also "polyamory" tag)
Indigenous Issues: this stuff rarely gets tagged "usian bullshit" or "politics" because it's bigger than that, and yes I'm Actually Indigenous despite my light skin. Enrolled Brothertown, also have Oneida and Ojibwe connections.
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drives me nuts when ppl act like its somehow feminist to be a huge asshole to people because 'men are allowed to behave that way,' or whatever. ok. well i dont think men should be treating people like that either. and if they talk to me like you are talking to me, i will judge and avoid them as well.
"society gives men a pass for behaving in hurtful and selfish ways without consideration for the impact it has on the people around them, particularly those with less power" yeah
"so I'm going to deliberately emulate this behavior, and it will be feminist of me to do so" incorrect
I completely agree - however. I do want to say (and I don't think this is exactly the same as what OP is saying) there are things that are considered fine or neutral when men do them, but bitchy if a woman does.
I'm direct, by that I mean, I don't like couching things in "I know you're trying to help, and I so appreciate that about you, but next time can you X instead of Y?" I say "Hey, I don't like when you X to me. Please don't." It's clear, it's unambiguous, and I think dancing around an issue is confusing or even insulting.
Because I am a woman, I have been told BY OTHER WOMEN, this makes me aggressive and this is bad. I think we can safely say my example is fairly neutral, not outrageously aggressive. I'm not sure how you would make that unambiguously aggressive. Maybe "Stop doing X or I'll punch you," idk.
I'm not sure how to further refine this except to say, sometimes it's not the behavior itself, it's the social, gendered lens put upon it that is eliciting this reaction.
I'm really glad you added this especially since it has moved beyond my immediate friend sphere -- SO many ppl do not understand how unconscious social bias works. And do not think that they could possibly have any. It's actually something you have to actively work to keep in mind ALL of the time. Its not like, one and done. Every time you're reacting to someone, its important to reflect on what that reaction is and why, and what factors are contributing to it. Its important to note who gets socially punished for what behaviors and who doesn't!
When you hear the news that there is a growing life expectancy gap between republicans and democrats partially because of the right-wing anti-science conspiracies that have taken hold (especially after COVID) you’re like “Lol. They owned the libs so hard they died.” and then you remember these are the same people having 6+ kids to populate the polls with their white Christian children and medically neglecting them. Then you squint at the data and realize it is not measuring voter data and life expectancy but life expectancy in red areas vs. blue areas and you realize that voter suppression, corruption, racism and poverty is actually killing the people in these places faster than the national average, not their own reactionary views. And you’re so angry it’s being presented like it’s their fault they’re dying.
hi i really like the mankoski pain scale but the image i previously had saved was mostly white which can be really hard on the eyes for those with light sensitivity
everything is getting worse and thats why it's SO so important that we have fun and hang out and play and im being serious im being unimaginable amounts of serious
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i hate that diet culture means all the tasty drinks everywhere are loaded with stevia now. this isn't even a stance about health, I just think it tastes so fucking bad
stevia is cross-reactive with a common environmental allergen: ragweed! if you've been drinking your fun little drinky drinks & have been feeling off there's a chance you're actually allergic!
I can't have artificial sweeteners because they give me migraines. I can't have stevia because I have an anaphylactic reaction. this new wave of "make everything 0 sugar" coming back into fashion could literally kill me if I'm not careful. nothing is safe, nothing is sacred, if I'm getting a little treat, better check the ingredients in case they changed em! :)
The health insurance industry has a term for this sadistic practice. It's called "step therapy." If the choice is between a more expensive medication that works and a cheaper one that doesn't work as well and might have worse side effects, the insurance company requires that the cheaper drug be used first.
One benefit to the insurance company is that the patient on the cheaper drug might die before they get a chance to use the drug that works but is more expensive. That's money in the bank for the insurance company.
Or, the patient might be so worn down and harmed by the cheaper drug that they just give up the fight to get the drug that will help them. Again, that's bank for the insurance company.
Can't even describe how many times the latter has occurred to me. It's fucking exhausting.
You CAN get exceptions sometimes but the insurance company can just...decide to change their mind, or not honor it, randomly. Or force you to renew it.
My BF gets monthly harassing letters from United pressuring him to go on a medication that doesn't fucking exist. "Friendly" of course, very "Oh heyyy bestie, we're your cute little gatekeepers, tee hee, and we noticed you were on this dumb little druuuug, so icky and expensive. But how about this other one, the generic? Yeah. It hasn't actually been made available yet or anything, this has been an issue for moooonths but it'd be great if you could swiiiitch. We just enjoy making sure you make the best decisions and would love it if you just, like, became unable to hold the job that gets you insured with uuuuuus." *Intense vocal fry*
sorta similar thing. I get chronic migraines, if I don't take preventative medication I get a migraine Every Single Day. Every One. And this has been a problem for A While, like, before I was 10 (Im 22 now).
it took a while for us to find doctors who believed me (after I convinced my family to believe me) and once we did we started the Gauntlet of medicines. we eventually found a Miracle pill that works without any real side-effects, but it wasn't always around and insurance Loves to decide not to cover it, hence...
horrific side effects of cheaper medicines that insurance pushed for, in no particular order:
anaphylactic shock
INTENSE bowel issues
constant fatigue (I slept for 20 hours a day every day while on that shit)
thinking about how the cosmetics industry would have been devastated if widespread masking is still a thing in society. lipstick? useless. foundation? transfers too much and sales plummet. the only survivors would probably be eye products and maybe lip balm. i would not be surprised if Big Cosmetics (TM) also lobbied for early relaxation of pandemic policies.
yes this post is motivated by my instagram feed serving me makeup content
During lockdown, women were OPENLY talking about how much more time they had to themselves without being expected to perform an elaborate hair and makeup routine every morning. Just one more thing society has memory-holed for back-to-normal. 🙃
saw a post recently in which the author wrote a reasonable sounding defense of the existence of data centers (not for AI processing, just in general) and a core component of their argument was that concentrated high volume data storage and processing was necessary for contemporary internet existence because the majority of data moved these days is video content (which is, compared to almost anything else, Really Big). and, for context, I'll be honest that I don't have any specific hate for data centers in general, although I'm viciously skeptical about the ways many of them are managed and operated compared to how they could be. but anyway what struck me about that argument later on the same day and I've been thinking about ever since is: what about ads? Internet ads have (as far as I can tell) almost exclusively abandoned banner and textual formats in favor of 15-120 second video spots. ignoring the question of whether they're conventionally or AI generated (and those are importent questions to ask, don't get me wrong!) what proportion of server traffic and data exchange on the public internet is dedicated to moving and displaying those video ads? To my knowledge there are no remaining streaming services that aren't ad-displaying (even if you can upcharge to bypass them), so if I'm watching for instance a 24-minute sorry I forgot it's the 2020s now 22-minute half hour episode of some show, how proportion of the data transfer demand and network traffic is prompted by my viewing is dedicated to the episode video file and what proportion is dedicated to auctioning, retrieving, and displaying the pre-episode, post-episode, and 1-to-3 mid-episode ad spots? What about if I'm, say, watching music videos (which are typically 3-5 minutes) on youtube, which have been pushed to have both pre and post video ads even at such a short length? assuming the argument that the public internet has principally become a video and multimedia access platform, how much data bloat would be immedtaely excised if we woke up tomorrow and all ads were magically banished? obviously I don't know the answer, but I do think it's a question worth asking
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comic ive been wanting to make for a while now! hope it resonates with people since i know my past intersex posts seem to have <3 being intersex and trying to figure out what gender im "allowed" to be has been an interesting journey but currently im learning to embrace being agenderfluid and having the potential to be anything i feel like no matter what body i have (something i havent seen talked about much through an intersex lens hence why i wanted to make a comic about it!)
[Image ID: A screencap of a news article by “The Daily Tism.” The headline reads “Missing! ‘Autistic Sense of Justice Nowhere to be Found When It’s Time to Talk About Race.” A blonde white woman, dressed in a long-sleeved pink shirt with darker pink-rimmed round glasses stares shocked at a computer screen. End ID.]
this is a perfect example of why the autistic trait commonly described as a ‘strong sense of justice’ should be instead described as strong or even inflexible moral convictions. because autistic people can be wrong. we are people, and sometimes people are wrong about stuff, including morality and justice. autistic people hold strong to our personal beliefs, but does that mean we all have strong moral compasses and a sense of justice?? i don’t really think so. in actual reality, it just means it’s often hard to change our minds about morality, and nearly impossible to convince us to act against whatever we personally think is morally correct, not that we are actually correct about morality (which is subjective, or at best situational, anyway)
white autistic people can be great in fighting racism, but only if they believe it’s a big deal, and that is nowhere near a universal truth
and we all hold internal biases related to the society weve been raised in
i think similarly ppl with moral ocd are not correct about morality in fact important to helping fight the compulsions related to moral ocd is recognizing that there is not A correct set of morals for every situation and that no one person has it all figured out no one is a worse person because of that either
COVID-cautious people are just living their lives with simple adaptations to prevent getting sick and spreading illness. We're living in reality. The people scared of respirators are living in a toxic fantasy.
Indeed...speaking as someone who cannot go for even a short walk due to long covid, which I got because of other people unmasking and allowing surges to happen.
i was born in a part of brazil that doesn’t really have a winter season, it’s pretty much hot all year long. there are parts of brazil that get quite cold and now I live in one of those areas. this means that every year I am reminded that I have zero tolerance for the cold, which is very humbling because I often wished that I could live somewhere cold, since the scorching heat all year long for years and years can feel quite boring. so now you might be thinking “so does this mean you can you tolerate hot weather better?” and my friend, the answer for that is an obvious… no. I am prone to fainting and heatstroke and I burn really, really easily. all this is to say that I am might have to go live in a in a very climate controlled greenhouse somewhere with a mild weather
“Im built different™️” but that just means I was born with the same constitution of a sickly Victorian child or a frail orchid that needs constant care in a controlled environment
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I don't like it when people are trying to (even sympathetically) explain why teenagers can sometimes have emotional volatility as "well they're just biologically stupid and angry and bad because of their hormones and underdeveloped brain" with no mention to be found of the fact they're also still trapped in an incredibly oppressive environment 24/7.
working 12+ hour days for school without pay or the right to "switch jobs" to something better, often working a real job on top of that, still the legal property of their parents, can't even dye their own hair or use their own name or have a door to their own room in many many cases. yeah I would be at the end of my rope too, especially when dealing with the adults in my life who are enacting and/or facilitating the abuse! it feels pretty glaring to ignore this dynamic when talking about the strained emotional capacity of teenagers. did you forget? what it was like to not have the right to your own life yet? to be hurt 24/7? and then to have your (extremely reasonable!!!) emotional reactions dismissed as pure hysteria?
purely anecdotally, I'm also not convinced that teenagers are "biologically" more prone to volatility in a meaningfully distinct way tbh. thinking back to the people I knew as a teen vs the people I've known in adulthood, in both demographics there have been people prone to lashing out, and people who were completely stoic, and the differences between the two groups have always seemed to be split not along age or hormonal makeup but along life experiences and who had better support structures. (but again this is anecdotal, and somewhat besides the point. because even if there is a non-pseudoscience biologically provable difference in teenagers' brains that make them universally moodier across the board, perhaps they could better manage their own moods if they weren't being crazy abused as an entire class with no legal ability to escape.)
