queer love can save the world if you let it

Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.

My father would constantly viciously mock my body hair and other 'masculine' traits to disprove the idea that I was a 'real girl', but then he was the same man who screamed at me for six hours when he found out I was trying out presenting as male when I was trying out different gender presentations as a middle schooler and tried leaning into masculinity for a bit, then he'd treat me like a boy again when he'd tell me not to cry because 'men dont cry', then he treated me like a girl again when I developed breasts and he clearly decided I was attractive to him.

My mother refused to teach me how to do my makeup or buy me dresses and once she realized I was never going to get a period she practically gave up on treating me like a woman at all, but then when I told her I might try leaning more masc as a teenager she was suddenly so adamant about gendering me as the girliest girl in the whole world, then once I realized I was a woman she seemed to flip right back and cut off my whole length of hair ostensibly because it was 'matted' but probably because she doesn't like me presenting as a woman.

My peers would scream at me for wearing dresses or mock me for wearing makeup because "boys don't do that" and I was seen as a predatory or mockworthy boy dressing up, but then that didn't stop my male peers from leering at me and making sexual passes that revolved around me being 'female'.

My transmasc ex would play up how aggressive I was while making himself look like an innocent widdle guy in comparison, playing on the fact that I was intersex and transfem and therefore he could twist me into being "masculine and scary" when needed, but then he'd put the emotional labor and sexualization and condescension of womanhood onto me just as easily.

It's like no matter what you do, people are determined to oppositely gender you. 'Woman' enough to sexually harass and assault, 'man' enough to be harassed for even trying to present as feminine, 'woman' enough to be burdened with all the emotional labor of my family and relationships, 'man' enough to be painted as the horrible pushy aggressor no matter what I did.

david, commission. 2019

i am aware that this piece of mine has been re-posted a thousand times, but now you can re-blog it from the original artist! :~D

@daughterofhecata Not to mention they still get sex trafficked in the Capitol after. Like they played the games, they won, they bought into the system that told them it was glory for them and abundance for their district.

Except the abundance only lasts one year and is limited. It never allows them to truly thrive or rise beyond the boot of the Capitol on their necks. At the end of the day this "generosity" is just another tool to keep them all in line.

And after the initial celebration at home, they find that the Capitol isn't done with them, with the commodification and abuse of their bodies. It never ends. They're never free. Their options, their "rewards" are being sex trafficked like Finnick or being punished like Joanna and Haymitch with the deaths of everyone they love.

Don't tell me you're not the same person

You're always my husband and I've been waiting, waiting

Just. A fun thought idea.