thedammortals

remus: james is my best friend.

sirius:

me:

For @drarrymylove for blessing us with all those prompt ficlets, which I greatly enjoyed

It was completely dark in his bedroom when Draco opened his eyes, which wasn’t at all right. He’d only lied down for two seconds to get some of the pressure off his back. His joints had been killing him for a while now, as they always did after a heavy set of shifts in healer training.

Another thing that wasn’t supposed to be there, was the warm shape pressed to his side, which began to stir almost as soon as Draco himself did. “Evening sleepy head.” A sloppy kiss landed on his cheek. “Woke up alright?”

Draco blinked once, twice, then moved his gaze to the clock on the wall. 21:32. He’d slept for four and a half hours. Not two seconds, but sixteen thousand and two hundred seconds. Panic rose in his chest as he realized what that meant. “Fuck.”

“No. No, Draco, stop.” A firm calloused hand on his chest stopped him from bolting upright. “You’re not going to freak out, or apologise, or get mad with yourself. You were exhausted, so you fell asleep. There’s nothing wrong with that, especially not since you have such an enormous workload on your shoulders.”

Draco blew a long, deep breath out through his nose, which did nothing to ease his panic. “I forgot our date.”

“Judging by the outfit I found next to your cutely softly snoring form, you really didn’t.” Harry pushed himself up on one elbow and kissed him on the lips. “Besides, my stake-out mission turned into a big bust so I arrived almost an hour late to the restaurant anyway. I was actually pretty relieved to find you asleep instead of pissed off.”

That relaxed Draco a little bit, and he dropped his head back on the duvet. Despite the sleep, he could still clearly feel that closing his eyes would whisk him off to dreamland in no time.

“I made curry by the way, while you were out cold. Figured you might be hungry after waking up.”

Draco had been mistaken, he was clearly already in dreamland. Having Harry, homemade curry and a good few hours of sleep all in one evening couldn’t be real. Not with his luck. He rolled over until he was on top of his boyfriend, and opened his mouth to tell him just that. However, something quite different left his lips. “I love you.”

Harry’s smile was instant, and lit up the entire room. When he spoke, his voice sounded like the happiest whisper Draco had ever heard. “You said it back.”

“I did.” Draco forced his nerves down and pressed his lips against Harry’s forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Harry pulled him down for a kiss. It wasn’t heated, they were both too tired for that, but it was brilliant all the same. “Can we celebrate that love with curry and pyjamas in front of the TV?”

Draco chuckled as he watched Harry’s hopeful expression. It looked so childlike because it was open and pure and real. Draco had never seen any other adult smile like that. He didn’t think he ever would, either. He’d be too busy looking at Harry, and the way his happiness could make miracles happen, like convince a Malfoy to eat in his pyjamas. “Of course.”

“Yay! Thank you.” Harry flung both arms around his neck and kissed him again. It was a clumsy kiss, because he was too busy smiling to really pay attention to it. But Draco didn’t mind. It just made him love his ridiculous boyfriend even more.

McGonagall: Mr. Lupin!

Remus: Sorry, Professor. Anyway, Slytherin’s got the Quaffle now, because some people feel like snogging instead of going to practice – I’m looking at you Frank Longbottom. And… yes! Avery is practically knocked into the next century by a bludger artfully aimed by Beater Shacklebolt. See, Longbottom? That’s what dedication and practice do for you.

McGonagall: Less personal grudges, more game commentary, Mr. Lupin.

Remus: Sorry, Professor. And is that…? Yes! Seeker McKinnon goes into a dive! She’s brilliant! She’s perfect! She’s… a lump on the ground. Apparently she can see the snitch from the other side of the pitch, but she can’t see the ground right in front of her fucking face.

Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)

Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.

I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.

I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.

History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man “would never.” This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they “would never”… right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her… just once, y’know, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didn’t she know that HE’S NOT LIKE THAT and I’LL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF ME…

We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as we’re old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.”

We live or die on that “if.” And any man who doesn’t like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not women’s fear.

The reaction shouldn’t be “not all men are like that;” it should be “no woman should have to live in fear.”

Ron: *giggles*

Ron: We don’t have coke, is Pepsi okay?

Rick Riordan: okay here have a gay Italian sad boy

Everyone: I mean, it’s all right but-…

Rick Riordan: I understand. Want a bisexual main character, who happens to be a god?

Everyone: oh that’s actually nice…but! How about girls-

Rick Riordan: you’re totally right. Here have a pair of lesbian hunters

Everyone: …um this is actually pretty nice…how about-

Rick Riordan: a pansexual main character?

Everyone: yea-

Rick Riordan: with a gender fluid love interest? Say no more! Anything else?

Everyone:

“…it’s a call to do better in my own writing. As one of my genderqueer readers told me recently, “Hey, thanks for Alex. You didn’t do a terrible job!” I thought: Yes! Not doing a terrible job was my goal!”

Rita Skeeter: Now Harry, tell our audience who do you like.

Harry: Draco Malfoy.

Rita Skeeter: Actually, I meant ‘like’ like in ‘love’.

Harry: Oh, sorry.

Rita Skeeter: No problem. So, who do you love?

Harry: Draco Malfoy.

Rita Skeeter: Well, let’s…phrase it differently. Who are you interested in?

Harry: Draco Malfoy.

Rita Skeeter: I meant, romantically interested.

Harry: Also Draco Malfoy.

Rita Skeeter: Another approach. What do you think of the girls in Hogwarts, like Hermione Granger, Cho Chang and …damn, I forgot her name.

Harry: Ginny? Ginny Weasley?

Rita Skeeter: Ah, right, that was her name. Anyway, what do you think of them?

Harry: Well, they’re nice.

Rita Skeeter: And pretty?

Harry: I guess.

Rita Skeeter: Which one do you think is the prettiest?

Harry: Draco Malfoy.

Rita Skeeter: But-

Harry: Listen, do I have to kiss him right here and now, propose to him, invite you to our wedding and sent you pictures from our honeymoon, or are you finally going to write down that ‘Harry Potter is fucking gay for his fellow, Draco Malfoy, and not intersted in some hetero romance in the least’?!

every time you fall in love with someone, their tattoo appears somewhere else on your body. (not necessarily soulmates, just who you fall in love with.)

imagine people who fall in love easily having their bodies completely covered in tattoos.

aromantics who only have their own ankle tattoo on their body.

people who have love affairs having to cover up the other secret tattoo from their spouse/partner.

a new tattoo appearing on a celebrity’s body in new photos and a very lucky fan (who had recently met the celebrity) realizing that it’s their tattoo.

elderly ladies sitting around tables in nursing homes telling the story behind each of their tattoos.

kindergartners who giggle as they look at their own ankle tattoos together and dream about the future tattoos they’ll have when they’re all grown up.

people trying their best to deface tattoos of ex-lovers who broke their hearts, but they can never go away.

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them

And there is literally no common sense

Anywhere to be found

The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.

But, but, but, you know the one person

the one person

who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?

Severus Snape.

Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.

‘Severus, he is my cousin.’

And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it

That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’

and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’

and just

Bonus: Sirius disappears and after weeks of searching, James eventually finds him hiding in the kitchens, surrounded by a fucking litter of puppies.  

“For God’s sake, Padfoot.”

“You could have at least given us some warning.”

“You do realise you’re failing potions, right? You’re seriously behind on homework.”

Person: Wow, you have a lot of dogs.

Sirius: They’re my kids.

Person: Aww, it’s so sweet how attached people get to their pets.

there’s only one other dog I know that lives on Hogwarts grounds and that’s this young man…