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i'm just a wendy wending my way through life

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Credit: perfectopat2
Bonus info if you've never baked:
You put the yeast in the water and wait to "proof" it, aka, prove you didn't kill the yeast. If it doesn't have a strong bready smell, and look all bubbly, the yeast failed, do it again.
"warm" water means a little above body temperature.
If sugar is a luxury for you or you're worried about the yeast failing, don't mix it in until after the yeast is proofed.
Yeast in little packets is expensive. Yeast is larger containers is not. If you keep moisture out of it, it lasts an age (literally. they have made bread from yeast that is millenia old). You can keep most of it in the back of your fridge and a smaller amount in a container.
Oil vs butter makes a texture and flavor difference. Not all oils work the same. If you don't have vegetable, canola, or olive oil, check first.
If you can buy bread flour, or any flour that has higher protein, it works a little better. That is not the weird keto high protein stuff. fwiw, the standard flour at costco has a higher protein content, and its what I use.
Whole wheat flour is not a one-to-one swap. Look up what needs to change.
This recipe is not going to be mix in friendly. Don't get fancy yet.
Mixing the dough is easiest if you have a large bowl and a flexible spatula. Run the spatula or spoon around the edge, then in, until it's no longer got obvious dry bits. Don't jump to kneading yet.
If its goopy, add small amounts of flour and mix. If it isn't coming together, add very small amounts of warm water and mix. On a recipe with 6c flour, if I needed to add more than a 1/4c of flour, or an 1/8 of water, would throw a flag that I made a serious mistake.
The dough should not be firm after mixing, but it also shouldn't stick to your hand and leave a mess.
Kneading means beating up the dough. Once the stirring has made it into a ball, you start to knead. If you don't have a stand mixer. Dust some flour on a clean flat surface. Dust some flour on your hands. Put the dough on there. Push the heel of your hands into it to sorta spread it out. Fold it back into a sorta ball, and push it around again.
Kneading builds gluten strands. As you knead, it will get more elastic, and will hold a shape better. You might need to dust more flour as you go, but it becomes a smooth ball.
Rising is when the yeast does it's job and creates air bubbles. If your house is over 75 or under 65, the rise time will be different. Keep an eye on it until you feel comfy. Trust the 'about double' or 'about one and a half' increase that a recipe mentions.
Overproofing(yes, same word as yeast, no, not part of that step) is when you let the dough rise too long. It gets too many air bubbles, and they're too big. This will NOT get you extra soft bread. It will collapse in the oven and make you sad. Set a timer.
An egg wash has several versions. Generally 1 egg, or 1 egg white, whisked with a bit of water and some salt. If you're flat broke, and don't have eggs, or if you don't eat eggs, mist the top of the loaf with water.
Finally:
Let the Bread Cool Down Before You Slice It
I know. Fresh bread smells delicious. But you gotta wait or it fucks up the moisture and gets doughy. You gotta use a serrated knife, or at least drag a standard knife. Do Not cut it like you're chopping. All that work to make it rise will be ruined.
Rock
The leads in Rope (1948) according to the MPAA Analysis Chart
Help I can't stop playing this game

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am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat
i'll be honest thinking about las vegas makes me nauseous.
like this shouldnt be possible.
Every part of Vegas feels like it's pulled out of fiction and is Incredibly off-putting. It's a major city in the middle of one of the world's most inhospitable deserts
Its famous for recreating other world landmarks on a small scale. It uses this as a trap to bait people into making life ruining decisions. It's motto is essentially "never speak of what happened here". Fucked up
"only 90s kids remember-" wrong, if you're poor and/or rural enough, old tech and fashion doesn't just disappear when it stops being trendy. We had dial-up until 2012
Guys, Audrey Hepburn used to always refer to Katharine Hepburn as “the real Miss Hepburn” because she didn’t want Kate to feel like her place was being taken by a younger actress, since she was already 45, an age at which a lot of actresses in the ‘50s would have been retired, when Audrey’s film career started.
Also Kate once referred to Audrey as “my daughter, Miss Hepburn” and that may well be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.

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my people will vagueblog your people
happy donna sheridan unprotected sex day (1/3), everybody!!!
happy june 14th freaks
has anyone ever actually seen a shareholder or are we just supposed to believe they actually exist
I did once when I was working in a coffee shop. He was on a business call loudly talking about some tech speculation. When I asked him how it went a few days later, he panicked and asked how I knew such sensitive information. From this I gather they are of weak constitution, and startle easily
constantly trying to see the inherent good in people is a humiliation ritual that i continue to willingly participate in

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sight I saw in san francisco, twice: gaggle of tiny children leashed together being herded along, everyone in hi-vis