i just need a break from everything for a year or a century

I can't believe this but it was on the news. They figured out the reason Minnesota is so humid now is because at a certain temperature corn releases water into the air. We're drowning in corn water. Corn related deadly weather. My life has been significantly, negatively altered by corn sweat. I knew climate change would come for us eventually, but I thought we had time what with being landlocked and cold as fuck to begin with.

@thebibliosphere

I’ve been tagged so many times in other posts too about the corn humidity. Fucking corn wrecking my life.

Idk, isn't saying european /= white is like saying china /= chinese? Like yeah, other peoples live there too, but it's mostly just the one, init?

'Chinese' is a nationality. There are 56 officially recognised ethnic groups within China. Europe is a continent, comprised of around 50 countries each with their own demographic makeup. So, no.

Something like 20-25% of British people are, in fact, not white. And excluding those people as "yeah but they're not like British British" is the fucking mating call of our local hooting racists.

why r callouts always like "please dont harass this person and dont go after them. anyway heres every single detail of their life gathered by stalking and their private profiles for all to see"

"please don't go after this person! now let me post this document for every single one of my followers and list every single one of their usernames"

yeah actually we removed the big bad wolf from the little red riding hood story because portraying violence against minors is really messed up. yeah. yeah also the wolf narrative was really predatory and had had some icky grooming vibes and a fable meant for literal children shouldn’t have implied p*do shit and grape so now little red riding hood goes into the woods and nothing happens and she goes to grandma’s house. don’t worry our kids will still stick to the path and know not to follow to wolves implicitly because we told them to and children should always do as their told. just like little red riding hood does now.

@radioactivepeasant ... now I'm not saying I suspect you....but I'm not saying I don't suspect you either...

It's national library card sign-up month! Even for wolves! 🤣

I have never hit the reblog button so damn fast.

“barely a Guy Gardner” is the sickest comics related burn I’ve heard to date. 

2nd day of trying caffeine again and seeing how my heart does. Dear god I missed tea made with Scottish water.

Hard water is absolutely disgusting compared to soft water

although it’s probably indeed better for cooking and drinking and such, I find soft water very scary to shower with. Soft water makes a… film? slime? thing? reaction with the soap, and no matter how much I wash it feels like it won’t leave. Evil feeling. My beautiful home water that is 90% rocks would never do that to me

........ Very soft water absolutely does not do that, what the hell

UK had a variation of soft/hard water. Welsh water is beautifully soft and makes excellent tea. (and as such Birmingham England, that gets the majority of it's water from the reservoirs in the Elan valley) Southern English water is hard as fuck, smells like chlorine at first and you HAVE to use filters to prevent it fucking up all your washing machines, dishwashers, kettles, showers, etc from limescale buildup. We have a mineral filter attached to our shower which i always know is running low when a film of lime appears when the shower dries and my hair does not get clean properly. That's not the filter, it's what's getting past the filter again.

(writing down that under "listen to guide dog first, rest of pedestrians second. Maybe disregard Robert Dylan")

Extremely irksome as an autistic person to ask a clarifying question and be told you’re “splitting hairs” when you genuinely just don’t understand because there isn’t enough information. Like, buddy. This is me at my most basic level of “what do you mean by that.” You wanna see me split hairs? If you really saw how thin I could slice a hair you’d hurl

I will split a hair into smaller halves every hour my demands of mutual participation in communication are not met

I had to sincerely ask if a client meant gothic as in architecture or gothic as in genre and it was a legit question because if somebody is looking for Crimson Peak you don't want to give them flying buttresses.

women want me, but fish? fish pity me

Go to a furry convention dressed as an 18th century fur trapper. Longrifle, jawtraps, chains, fur hat, big coat made of sewn-together pelts of different polyester neons...

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

there's also the idea that he drove to walmart in his honda accord, and then when he got out he either forgot where he parked or wanted to skip like 20 seconds of walking so he just summons it right in front of the door

To not have to find a parking space, most wizards keep their Honda Accords in a extradimensional oubliette when not driving. This also saves on garage space.

Clearly the wizard had to summon his Honda Accord because someone stole it while he was shopping. The carjacker is now tumbling violently down the freeway like a source engine ragdoll

my mom’s trans allyship is on another level

she once called my friend’s deadname “that stupid thing his mom calls him”