Anders Apologist

there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

I'm sorry, I don't believe that anyone who has read regularly since childhood would still count Harry Potter as the best book they've ever read.

It's funny when you look at old articles from the early 2000s amongst literary types, saying, "Yeah, okay, it's pretty derivative, but at least it's getting kids reading, right?" And then they just never read anything else and now they're grown adults writing articles in The Telegraph claiming that JK Rowling is the greatest female author of all time.

reading christopher eccleston interviews where he talks about wanting to be androgynous but always getting macho parts makes me understand why i keep getting butch dyke vibes off of the ninth doctor. don’t worry ms doctor i saw your leather jacket 

what companies who sell you anti aging stuff don't want you to know is that if you're chill about aging, your perception of attractiveness changes as you get older. there is no "wall" where you suddenly become ugly and unfuckable because in my experience what actually happens is you get into your thirties and suddenly realize that people in their thirties are hot as fuck and the "flaws" that the beauty industry wants you to panic about are a feature not a bug, and based on the std statistics in nursing homes I don't really expect that trajectory to change.

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

You have to pee in the shower to get into heaven

my beloved friends and mutuals are always so embarassed when theyre manically posting about a niche thing nobody even knows about but i am literally never annoyed by this. the number 1 annoying thing you could post about is popular Thing du jour so for example i have developed an instant rage response to ryan gosling but your niche little guy could never piss me off

you are fifteen thousand generations removed from stone tools

to be clear you are fifteen thousand generations removed from the invention of stone tools. not from the end of stone tools. modern humans are still using stone tools.

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

So many fiber arts have difficulty levels that are less about your level of skill than your ability to tolerate extreme multi-step processes.

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.

For the longest time ever I didn't realize the song Californication was Cali and Fornication. I thought it was Californiacation as in turning things into California. ForceCali

You want to go to Los Angeles so bad. Mommy wants you to go stand by the Hollywood sign and take photos in Redwood National State Park