Welcome to the mess

I was hoping for exactly one thing when I unmuted and I was not disappointed

riddle me this, riddle me me that, whoose afraid of the big small cat.

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

I was mugged by snow white and the seven dwarves the other day. six dwarves now, I suppose. kneed dipshit or dopey or whatever he was called in the eye socket so hard he died before his limp body hit the ground. they all scattered after that. I'll never forget how they wailed his name

"we cut the nobody scene from the odyssey" "we cut the religious trauma and parental abuse from carrie" i'm starting to think that studios barely funding original films is starting to have an effect where directors make up a story and then slap an IP on it in order to sell. or maybe some bitches just can't read anymore idk it's one or the other

in space no one can hear you moan like a girl

Ground control here, we can hear you just fine

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

I recently mentioned to someone that my favorite forward is kadirova and they responded “what about hilary knight?” and it’s just kinda like asking why someone’s favorite bible character isn’t jesus. like yeah we all love jesus from the bible obviously but i think some stories are better even if not as iconic

Unreliable narrator abruptly realising they've mixed up which narrative thread is the red herring and which is the actual plot and they've been deceiving the audience about the wrong thing the entire time.

Malicious unreliable narrator who really wants to lie to the audience for fun getting increasingly frustrated as every bit of bullshit they spin inexplicably later turns out to be technically true.