Fire and Blood. Bad Wolf. 4-8-15-16-23-42.

I think I will remember the week of Nov 3rd, 2020 for the rest of my goddamn life.

noncon friendship

Coworkers

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

on it boss

trapped in the catacombs boss

marriage before thirties is so insane because you're barely a person yet

divorce before thirties however is chic beyond comprehension

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT A GOD DAMN RELATIONSHIP AND LOSING WEIGHT AND BEING BEAUTIFUL FOR GODS SAKE GO OUTSIDE AND ROB A STORE AND FEEL ALIVE AS YOU RUN AWAY FROM SECURITY

today @ work a woman purchased two (2) large packs of gum and nothing else and her total came to over twelve american dollars. if anyone was wondering how the economy was doing its bad

i was so stunned i literally said "i feel like i'm robbing you" and we both laughed it off but this is actual highway robbery. over $6 for some damn chewing gum. we need to kill more ceos

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

at the jfk museum. this place is kind of objectively funny as hell i think

there’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your adam sandler fit