i sent this gif to a black cowowker at work then later asked my white manager if he likes apple fritters and he was like "i fuckin love apple friters" and she laughed so hard she got a migraine
YOU ARE THE REASON
RMH
Interview Vampire Daily
sheepfilms
★

blake kathryn
macklin celebrini has autism
Cosimo Galluzzi
ojovivo
noise dept.
NASA
taylor price
🪼
Not today Justin
cherry valley forever
Jules of Nature

roma★
EXPECTATIONS
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@the-og-mcnugget
i sent this gif to a black cowowker at work then later asked my white manager if he likes apple fritters and he was like "i fuckin love apple friters" and she laughed so hard she got a migraine

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it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We don’t even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a “precursor” ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascar’s current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascar’s human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone else’s pet Major Event.
It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.
i would be a kittypet all the way in the warrior cats universe. if i heard a bunch of guys were in the woods killing each other for survival and they think i'm the lame one for getting mediocre banquets i would be like you guys are stupidd and then when the thunderclan medicine cat comes by my fenced lot to pick yarrow i would be like what are doing and shes like medicine so my clanmates don't die and i'm like wow you guys really have it that rough. and she keeps encountering me and one day i'm like why don't you come inside there's plenty of kibble and she averts her eyes shyly and is like ...no that would be against starclan and i'd go To have a little kibble? and she's like You know what i mean. and i do. 5 moons later she is getting adopted by my people and visions of her ancestors still haunt her and she is from time to time like Did I do the right thing...? how could i be so selfish...? and i'm like my toy mouse squeaks
Warrior Cats is one fandom I only know from indirectly from tumblr (though I still enough to enjoy this piece), BUT a tiny interesting side note- - -
I was at the winter MondoCon and noticed a few middle-schooler(ish) children with cat masks and turned out that they are actually Warrior-fans. I got curious and found out that the first three books were republished last year. So it looks like it certainly becoming (or already is) A Thing now in Hungary, too!
I just had to draw the original post because it lives rent free in my head
when you had a very hard day but got a reaction like this. awwww <3
I guess she did do the right thing!
especially for @tumblingxelian, but I myself wanted to revisit these cats as well <3
So uh….some dude apparently recreated Adobe Photoshop feature-for-feature, for FREE, and it runs in your browser.
Anyway, fuck Adobe, and enjoy!
Give credit to the 30-year-old who worked on this for free and offers this service for free!
WHAT?!
I study graphic design and my tutor recommended and used this in his classes at art college last year, it’s so good it has SO many features for free, I really recommend it, even if you’re just trying to learn the basics of PS, such a wonderful thing <3
I use this and it’s fucken great. No bullshit. Really works. Sometimes the world is kind.
Any day now
people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

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what a day!!!!!!!! nothing happened and i was tired
The answer to "How did these Ancient People do this????" is basically always
1. A lot of dudes. Just a ton of fucking people from beginning to end of the process.
2. Ancient people weren't stupid, they just figured shit out the same way we do: fuck around until you find out.
3. We're gonna plan this out and it's gonna take ten fucking years, and you will cope.
4. Sticks and string are surprisingly versatile and can be used for a variety of purposes, like moving stuff and making sure things are even and go in the spot you wanted to put them in!
5. I want to make this easier and more efficient to move. If I put this on the round thing and push, it will move. If I put this in water, it will move. If I get some animals and rope and have a whole bunch of them drag it, it will move. All of these things are a better option than one guy trying to pick the whole fucking thing up.
No safety regulations
No weekends
Child labor
Slave labor
"The king said to do it"
History does not record the stupid megaprojects that failed
was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.
i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved
Teacher: guys this Tumblr post is 36281992 years old and only the long lost Tumblr princess can read it
Me: but teacher, I can read it just fine *starts reading in perfect tumblanese*
Who reblogged this 30 times
Who reblogged this 60 times
Keep going guys, we can get 100
Objects as spaceships, by Eric Geusz
My favorite is the fidget spinner space station. It almost feels like someone designed it first and then fidget spinners came out and now everyone laughs at it… instead of the other way around.
It’s Eric! He was one of my best friends in highschool!
He also does series of space cats, and one of the ones floating upside down and looking at you is based on my cat Ginger :D
The kitty herself, Ginger!
He’s a super cool dude and seeing his art on tumblr is nuts!
Check out his website, which includes an area to buy prints
You can see more of his work in general on Instagram
And buy T-Shirts too!
God yeah I will hype him every chance I get lol!

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As the person who got their R keyboard broken and the world mocked me for being forced to use the uwu language as replacement
My condolences
put that back
National Lampoon, October 1985
Iceland is fucking bizarre my name change made the news
Like just @ me at this point I'm literally the only person in iceland (and very possibly the world) who has the first name Lauf
(Article title reads "Lauf and Birningur in group of new names in the name register")
No one lives here so now two of our biggest news outlets are vagueing about me lmao
Hmm you're right. Correction: two of our biggest media outlets are talking about me specifically because they are obsessed with me
This morning I showed up to work and my boss was like "congratulations :))" and I was kinda confused so asked her on what and she said "your name, I heard about it on the radio"
So far I have counted two online articles and apparently the radio is also talking about my name change so I'll keep you guys updated when I'm on national tv or something
With a little legwork we can make more people on Tumblr see this than the entire population of Iceland.
[scrolling social media] Who the fuck is Jimothy?
[a brief internet search later] Ahh yes, ok I understand. Jimothy is my religion now.
always some new bullshit in the ocean
Why is it always orcas or dolphins
Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once
worry not ☝️ they're doing coke
i was training a young person at work, and she referred to sexual assault as "SA" out loud, and i immediately was like, "no, it's sexual assault, call it what it is," bc idgaf if the algorithm overlords have taught y'all that you should fear direct language, how tf do any of you expect to ever address real issues with any amount of seriousness if you can't even say the words? imagine an advocate looking a sexual assault survivor in the eyes and asking "did he grape you?" it's absolutely fucking absurd, but these young interns and new hires are coming into an environment where we deal with survivors of all different kinds of abuse, and they're coming with the mindset that the words are as bad as the actions, and that makes them shitty at the job and look juvenile af
i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience
say the fucking words, guys. just say the goddamn words before i go insane!!!

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thinking about the r/minecraft post where a guy had just built a seemingly endless field of 1x1 wood plank towers. terrifying
spine-chilling
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe