The Lovers Diary

The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was “Flirting” is both unfortunate and disappointing.

I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because “You guys kept flirting” but I was like “We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do.” I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was

This might be a good time for Ms. Psych degree here to step in and let ye all know that People Are Unable To Identify Flirting. There are double-blind studies to support this, if you instruct participants to flirt or not flirt with another participant, neither the second participant nor onlookers are able to accurately tell which instruction the first participant was given. Even if you get the flirting participant to rate their attraction to the person they’re flirting with, and only count trials where people are either flirting with people they find attractive, or not flirting with people they don’t find attractive NO ONE CAN TELL WHO IS FLIRTING OR WHO ISN’T.

I’ve heard that people actually have a *less than 50% chance* of guess whether someone is flirting or not.

Thank fuck this isn’t just me failing at humanity

SagePub has one such study here, dated 2014. There might be more recent work, however.

oh thank God! I also thought it was just me.

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

*through gritted teeth* the world is GOOD. people are kind. Humans are NOT inherently selfish. you will make it through this year. recovery is possible. people you don't know yet will love you. You are going to do things you can't even imagine right now. You are going to read a rlly good book. You are going to eat some rlly good food. You are going to experience joy again. Things can get better. Situations can change. You can choose to be kinder. The world can change for the better.

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

to be clear you SHOULD buy that cast iron pan and you SHOULD buy that knife set and you SHOULD buy that fancy rice cooker and you SHOULD buy that novelty mug. high quality kitchenware is always worth it you’re literally gonna be using that almost every day

genuinely insane to me that bikinis are the Default swimwear marketed & sold to women. that's nylon underwear. & if you don't want to wear one people treat you like you're childish & insecure & suggest ways to "get over it"

"i feel uncomfortable with the idea of wearing what amounts to fast-drying underwear in front of other people, many of them complete strangers" "have you tried gradually acclimating to showing more & more skin? have you tried being more confident? are you ashamed of your body? don't you want to show off your beach bod?" girl what the fuck are you talking about!!!

wearing a bikini is all about confidence & self-love 🥰 but remember to wax all that icky yucky body hair first!!! 🤢 nobody wants to see that 🙅‍♀️

You say “I prefer a bathing suit that covers my back so it’s easier to apply sunscreen” and people look at you like you said you have two heads

Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

Yes, nonblack people can reblog. I'd appreciate it, in fact, if y'all took the time to vocally support your Black friends/fans in fandom.