???i Dont Know???

people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels

if nothing else trying to tune out the sounds of anakin and padme going to town as i contemplate the babbling brook gave me a brief but vivid window into what it’s like to be obi wan kenobi

World Heritage Post

looks inside procrastination -> it's anxiety -> looks inside anxiety -> it's fear -> looks inside fear -> it's shame

Surely these circumstances will improve with additional shame

"why doesn't bruce wayne use his money to fix gotham instead of being batman" is a question most easily answered by understanding these events occur within the pages of batman, a superhero comic in which the associated genre conventions (superheroes) manifest in bruce wayne being batman

I have been introduced to baterrific, aka the ship Batman × Mr Terrific, and it reminds me that my first thought after seeing Superman (2025) was "Mr Terrific cannot meet Batman, he would make him worse". No shade to him, but he put nano bots in a man he barely met and didn't see anything wrong with it, he would encourage Bruce's worst compulsion to track his loved ones 24/7. He would side with Bruce when Dick finally learns about it and starts an arguement. The kids would need to break them up for their own well-being.

Wait how the hell does she have two different bangs at once

You cannot comprehend the powers of an italian woman from new jersey

I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.

Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”

“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”

In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.

Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”

Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.

we should talk more about cities that are vampires. cities that are cold and wet and sink into your bones and stay there. cities that are hungry and want to live. dead cities that dont know they're dead and suck the life force of their people to maintain the delusion. cities with harbors that are actually mouths; one-way entries. cities that are devastatingly lonely and see consumption as love

Guardians of Gahoole