Can you write a jason todd angst? I don't have any ideas really but i really want jason angst
You want Jason angst? Sure.
Jason was never held by Sheila when he was born. Sheila told the nurses that she didn't want to hold him and she never even touched him. She abandoned him as soon as she could.
Jason tried to die faster when the Joker was beating him so Bruce wouldn't have to come save him and the Joker would have no reason to hurt Shelia so neither would be put in danger.
Jason cried for his mom when the Joker was beating him.
The last thought Jason had was guilt because if he had just been happy having the family he had, nobody would be dying.
Jason has issues around food security, he panics internally if he believes that he won't have enough food to see him through the week, he always has food at every safe house. Some people make fun of him for having a big appetite but he really doesn't because he wants to save food for later just in case.
Willis never actually hit Jason, he just emotionally neglected and verbally abused him. Jason has a fear of grown men raising their voice around him that triggers a freeze or fawn reaction that he works hard not to show once he's grown up.
The thing that kills Jason most about Catherine OD'ing was the fact that she was doing so well beforehand, she was almost a week clean and then he got home from school, clutching his report card and found her dead in the apartment.
Jason thinks he will never find real love because nobody would want a mess like him nor is he good enough for anybody.
Jason was almost trafficked by one of Catherine's dealers when she couldn't pay her debt. Jason remembers one of the dealers trying to get him into a car on the street once after being all friendly with him whenever he was around. Jason later put the pieces together and tries to believe that she didn't know but knows deep down that she was too out of it to save him if something did happen.
Willis used to take Jason to the park sometimes and let him run around. Willis was always trying to be a good dad whenever he got out of prison after a stint but it always ended up the same: a few days of fun and presents and laughter and then Willis would be giving Jason packages to 'look after' or end up getting banged up by cops and sent to prison all over again.
Jason was always worried about Bruce's partyboy lifestyle and had a plan in case Bruce OD'ed or started using or drinking more. It was only after he flinched when Bruce came home smelling of booze (he was sober but spilled drinks over himself to give the appearance of being sloppily drunk) that he had to admit his fears to Bruce.
Jason broke in and lived in the apartment after CPS tried to take him (they didn't really try find him after he bolted) but when the landlord found out, he had to leave. He only managed to grab a picture of his mom and dad, taken on his first birthday when things were good and his favourite plushie and then he was homeless
On the streets, Jason had to turn his hand to anything to keep himself fed. He stole tires, siphoned petrol, picked pockets, went through dumpsters. He learned to sleep in libraries and community centres during the day and stayed alert at night which helped later when he was Robin, because being a kid on the streets at night? Scary. Jason had to do a lot to survive, much of which he doesn't like talking about, a lot that he forces himself to 'forget'.
Jason was so sure that Bruce and Batman was never meant to be forever, he had gone down the road of 'forever' so many times but near the end, he really started to think of Bruce as family, maybe a real dad not just legally.
Jason sometimes holds on an extra second whenever somebody hugs him.
Jason used to write Alfred a birthday card every year after his resurrection but never sent it. When Alfred died, Jason asked that the undertaker bury Alfred with the unsent cards and letters.
Jason doesn't know where his mom (Catherine) is buried or if she was. He's too scared to find out she's in some common grave or cremated as she did believe in that.
Jason was horrifically tormented at school. He was an excellent student but teachers and students and even parents of kids treated him like trash and never really considered him one of their own. He never told Bruce. When he died, they named a wing of the school in his memory to butter up Bruce. Jason later burned it down.
Jason had issues with his body image pre death. He was too skinny but not slender like Dick and his jumps and turns are always off because of that, he was a late bloomer, he was too short, he thought he was going to look like a scrawny little kid forever.
Jason bonded with Talia at the LOA, considered her as sort of mother figure but she quickly got him out of that mindset because that sentimentality is what got him killed in the first place.
Sometimes when Bruce hugs Jason spontaneously, Jason freezes because he doesn't know why Bruce is hugging him and just as his brain is starting to catch up the moment is over.
Jason still has nightmares about the pit, the grave and his death. He has bad PTSD episodes, when stressed he can hallucinate vividly. Sometimes when he feels wet earth or gets splinter or learns a shrill laugh, he has an urge to leave and go somewhere else and most of the time, the best way to do that, is to cause a fight with the nearest person to cover it up.
Jason isn't religious but he finds comfort being inside churches and going to confession. He never gives his name but goes every week or so to confess to priests in his old parish, sometimes he breaks down but he always does the prayers and contrition they give him but won't let them comfort him.
