mental illness innit

i think the beatles broke up bc they were all jealous ringo had a way cooler name

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

a number of years ago when I was at Boy Scout Camp, someone shared this bit of trivia. Within days, it had become a competition, the entire camp overrun by elbow licking. See, the thing about it is, if you're aware of the licker, you can feel it. But if you don't know someone is doing it, you legitimately cannot feel the lick. So for the rest of the week, you'd spot kids sneaking up on each other, attempting to lick elbows unnoticed. It was wild.

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

Wait shit wrong fucking post

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

yuo cant say this during plague month

pride month. pharohs curse got me

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

ok we can do petplay but Only if I’m the fly. If that’s ok… rubs my hands together … zzzzzz…. Hope I don’t get swatted…. Zzzzzzzzz

Basically I like when there’s garlic and onion

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room