they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

Riko: 2nd son of the japanese mafia. Neil: son of the right hand man of the japanese mafia (and some british criminals). Jean: French criminal-son. Kevin: really unlucky person.

One of my favourite things about Exy is that it's a co-ed sport. They really out here like 'we do not give a fuck what your gender is. Can you take a punch?'

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

You literally just have to get really good at continuing.

petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

happy pride everyone

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

ich biiiin's ich bin dein Schutzengel hiiiiii 😇 okay 🙏 also. in ungefähr sechs Monaten wirst du verhungern. 🥺 und wenn ich dich nicht beschütze, bin ich: #gefeuert! 🫢 und das ist Nicht Gut 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Also. 🙏 Ich hab mich über Ursachen für Hungertod informiert, und es stellt sich heraus: Dein Tod ist total vermeidbar! 😯 Oh oh! 😆 Es gibt mehr als genug Essen, um dich zu ernähren, ohne das Überleben anderer zu beeinträchtigen, aber du darfst es nicht haben! 🤨 Waaas? 🤷‍♀️ Anscheinend ist dein Tod geplant von tausenden von sogenannten "Aktionären". Also. 🙏 Ich hab da so'n paar Leute umgebracht,

The annoying thing when you can communicate (almost) equally well in two languages is that you often run into a situation where you could put something very snappily in one language but need twice as many words in the other.

I’m really enjoying Emma. I love how overconfident and lowkey unlikable she is. She’s so fun 🤩