I am a Pirate Behold my Ships

Eridians who hunt by disguising themselves amongst the rocks to ambush prey getting countered by an alien who can see through it because 9 times out of 10 they’re a different color than the rocks they’re blending in with entirely

we're just normal men

Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???

assessing the situation before he shoots his shot

Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

The first rule of cable management is "out of sight, out of mind"

The second rule of cable management is that all true art is provocative. If zero people want to kill you over it, it's not good art.

i think i will get lucky and find $10,000 in cash today

it is always narratively correct to make your characters sleep together before they sort through the hundreds of lies and misdirections between them. make things worse make things worse make things worse #i love betrayal #i love lying #i love people feeling bad about themselves

i love you lab grown diamonds i love you slavery-free chocolate i love you community gardens i love you fact that the insulin patent was sold for $1 i love you locally produced meat and milk i love you streets turned into walkable parks i love you little reminders that Things Do Not Have To Be This Way and there are people working to build a better world!!

i love you smog tests for cars i love you clean air regulations i love you HEPA filters i love you dam removal i love you planting native gardens i love you monarch butterflies (up 64% in 2026!) i love you working for decades to bring the condors back from zero to 300+ in the wild i love you inventing little machines to pick up the plastic fishing nets and other trash in the sea i love you occupational health and safety regulations i love you environmental protection agencies i love you unions i love you social aid programs i love you food not bombs i love you sea shepherds i love you most countries stopping industrial whaling and more humpback whales now than ever before i love you saving the forests i love you little libraries i love you take what you need cupboards/fridges i love you secular food pantries i love you public bathrooms i love you all-ages playgrounds i love you museums i love you aquariums + zoos i love you restoring peregrine falcons to nyc i love you letting beavers fix the river i love you releasing wolves into the wild i love you bison recovery efforts i love you landback i love you reducing light pollution i love you freeway sound baffle walls i love you advertising bans i love you public outreach and education i love you maria montessori i love you queer clinics i love you people working really hard and succeeding at fixing the world and making it safer for all living beings!

…Oh, so by “gay”, you mean. Actually gay.

I don’t usually reblog stuff like this but tbh this is the kind of content I live for.

Happy Pride Month!

i truly fucking hate taylor swift fans for like one reason specifically which is that she is not like. your friend?? if i insult her music she is not personally harmed by it?? taylor swift has done the classic white girl trait of making herself the Ultimate victim. she's the biggest pop star ever in our lifetime and she has somehow managed to craft a narrative that she's gotten there Despite people. which is just not true!!!!! the industry has loved her since forever!!!!!! and i don't think it should be controversial whatsoever to critique her music but she has made it so intertwined with who she is that you can't critique it without rabid teenagers and white women leaping to her defense like you just shot a bunny or something.

i once got a taylor swift fan in my inbox saying i didnt get her and shit so let me clarify yes i dont get her yes i think her music is largely boring and she's heavily carried by top tier producers and other artists rather than creating a signature sound. i think the whole eras thing is a cheap ripoff of whoever or whatever is popular at the moment and she has no true musical identity beyond whatever works on the charts. please feel free to block or unfollow if u get the urge to leap to her defense.

Stephen King’s Fujo