Behold, a trashpile.

Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer

me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!

Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!

me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

Oh hey pals, new AO3 scam just hit!

Just like the tumblr scam where they pretend to be "the support team" this is also a scam.

I edited out the link because I GUARANTEE if you go to it you will get your computer hacked and your AO3 or discord account stolen.

I am so mad because I got this 30 seconds after posting a new fic.

DO NOT FALL FOR THESE SCAMS.

No legitimate website support will EVER contact you like this!

Gimli: Don’t worry, I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.

Gimli: *stomps his dwarf boots* the boots flash little lights*

Meanwhile Boromir is wearing those heely shoes and taking every opportunity to pop the wheels out at the slightest hint of a downward slope in the ground.  Aragorn is highkey judging them all.

@starrystories2​ 

I’d also like to make another addition. As thou hast suggested… I willst add Boromir in Heelys…

[Just hiking along to the Pass of Caradhras] Aragorn: Come on, Legolas! We have to get moving! Legolas, fumbling with his crocs: Hang on, they have to be in sports mode.

[In the Mines of Moria] [thanks @redbootsindoriath​] Aragorn: Sure is dark in here. Gimli: *stomps feet* Legolas: Those are stupid shoes. Aragorn: Says Legolas “Battle Crocs” Greenleaf. Pippin, staring forlorn at the sketchers: I’ve never wanted shoes so badly in my entire life.

[Attacked by orcs at the end] Aragorn: We have to be as fast as possible! Boromir: This is my time to shine. *takes the wheels out* *gets heelys ready* Aragorn: Boromir, what are you– Boromir, rolling along with the little wheels on his heels: GOTTA HELP THE HOBBITS! Aragorn: Um– Boromir: ZOOOOOM!

HE’S–

Legolas is wearing crocs, Gimli has light up sketchers, Boromir has heelys, Aragorn has the lace up knee high converse, and Gandalf has Uggs. The rest of the Fellowship don’t wear shoes.

Frodo: Who are you?

Behold.

legolas wears his fancy thigh high crocs to all official/formal events

Aragorns converses are clearly laced with green laces and they have lil leaf charms clipped to the laces

Frodo wears hand-knitted leg warmers that Sam made

Sam wears matching warmers with frodo

Merry and pip have a set of fluffy leg warmers for every occasion, including leopard and zebra print for special occasions

Gimlis light up sketchers have steel toes but they’re painted with glow in the dark paint

Gandalfs uggs have a lil shadowfax embroidered on the side

Thranduil wears fuzzy elk slippers

Elrond wears uggs too

Also bonus