Anticlimactic Hell

Willowgrape Tea

Made from Willowgrape leaves. A tea known for its fresh, delicate flavour, despite its strikingly sweet aroma. Said to help with sleep and recovery after a long and exhausting day.

I'm starting with this one because it is Qifrey's favourite tea, but also from my own culture as someone who's part Greek. A lot of people in my culture drink grape leaf tea. "Willowgrape juice" is wine in the recipe books. It's grape leaves. He's drinking grape leaf tea.

If you can't find this in a Mediterranean or Middle Eastern store/grocery aisle, I recommend harvesting grape leaves before the plant flowers if you want to diy it. If you harvest the leaves for tea after the plant flowers, it will be on the bitter side and people tend to find it that nasty. Harvest in dry conditions. The leaves are best dried in a ~100ºC/200ºF -ish oven for max flavour; but if you choose to air dry them, keep them spread out and out of the sun. Crush. One tablespoon for a normal cup. Two tablespoons for a punchy cup. You're welcome <3

THAT SAID, Twin Dragon brand tea is undoubtedly an in-world reference to Twinings of London. Let's be real. The pound cake Olly makes? That's an Earl Grey cake irl. It's very common to make Earl Grey pound cake. That's the One people generally use for tea recipes, as well as the first tea that tends to be generally associated with Twinnings.

If you make Olly's pound cake, I'd recommend doubling the tea in the recipe at the end of the chapter. Also, rinse your damn tea to strip the bitter tannins, and dump the water before brewing. You want it to be extra strong.

Wood Sorrel Tea

The plant from which this tea is brewed is known to sprout near cemeteries and other burial sites. As such, some people drink the tea when thinking back on loved ones they have lost. Said to be efficacious in treating melancholy. Produces a golden colour.

Wood sorrel (oxalis) is probably the least fun of the group because it's just an irl wood sorrel tea. Some people have been using it to treat insomnia and hypertension, boost energy, etc. for ages.

It's...kind of mid. Truly the myrrh of tea. Meant to be mixed, honestly. It's fine, just a little underwhelming on its own.

"Golden" colour. Beige tea. Tastes about the same as beige food.

If you want a GOOD sorrel tea, I'd recommend the Caribbean stuff. You get RED sorrel (hibiscus sabdariffa). It's hibiscus tea, which is technically the next one. I'll bring this back.

Throne Tea

Made brewed from the petals of the Diadem Herb. Marked by its potent, acerbic taste, which can be balanced out by adding nectar or honey. Said to improve metabolism. Produces a red colour.

I immediately thought of rose hip tea but there's no way that's it.

I drink rose hip tea regularly and I would not describe it as acerbic in the slightest. It can be a bit on the sour side sometimes but there's no real bitterness to it unless you fuck it up tremendously.

I then thought of hibiscus tea. The problem is that it's not really acerbic. This one seems more likely than rose hip because people love going off about how much it's said to boost metabolism. I still think that the properties of hibiscus tea most closely match the lore so I'd use this for Throne tea, personally, but (much like the use/application of willowgrape tea) it would depend on the context.

Let's be real. That's the one. Those are about as close to irl diadem herbs as you're going to get in the form of tea

If you're drinking Caribbean hibiscus tea, I'd recommend using Witch Hat Atelier flavour slips, hehe.

For real though, boil it with ginger, clove, and orange zest. Sweeten it. Serve cold. Trust me. You're welcome.

That said, if I were to suggest an actually acerbic tea that's red when you brew it, I'd be more inclined to opt for a rooibos red tea.

Rooibos looks like this irl.

Yeah, I know, I know. That looks a lot like the in-world depiction of the next tea. We've just got a weird tea Venn diagram going here.

Thornbark Tea

Tea brewed from the needles of the Thornbark plant. Due to its natural astringency and bitterness, it is usually served with copious amounts of honeytree nectar. Effective at staving off sleep.

This one looks more like a rooibos in how it's depicted in-world BUT irl rooibos is a caffeine-free tea. Thornbark tea is definitely used as the in-world coffee. Coffee looks like this when it's growing so it's not much of a stretch. They're pretty similar.

Also, for those who don't know, coffee looks like this before it's roasted. You have to roast it. I've done this and I would be more likely to use the term "burn" considering how smoky the oils get.

Halftea

Brewed from Halftone Weed grains. Known for its trademark sweet aroma, particularly when paired with milk. Halftone Weed doesn't grow in the downs surrounding the atelier, making this a relatively uncommon tea. A favourite of Qifrey's apprentices Produces a deep black colour.

That's likely mugicha/boricha/barley tea. It's nice. It's earthy. It tastes like a hug.

That said, the in-world plant looks like it could be a fusion of more than on type of grain, much like a lot of the beasts. I'm inclined to think it's a fusion/hybrid plant that grows what would best be described as gokokucha. Gokokucha is a blend of roasted barley, soybeans, rice, corn, and buckwheat.

It's still not quite black when you brew it, but I maintain that it's a type of cozy grain-based tea and we'll leave the rest to fantasy worldbuilding.

Erbe Tea

Tranquileaf A medicinal drink with analgesic and antipyretic properties. Though somewhat bitter, the drink is highly effective. Produces a pale, translucent green colour.

Tranquileaf is likely green tea aesthetically and in its flavour profile, but likely closer to matalafi in terms of its irl equivalent for treating fever and pain. I would personally opt for green tea when making Witch Hat Atelier kitchen recipes.

Green tea (camellia sinensis)

Matalafi (psychotria insularum) is an Indigenous Samoan plant and remedy that studies have shown to rival ibuprofen in its antipyretic and anti-inflammatory properties. You want Erbe tea? Green tea. You want irl ibuprofen plant? Matalafi. I've never tasted it so I can't recommend something that I haven't tried. I'm just here for the nerdbuilding.

Beast-tail Tea

Pufftail Weed/Woolpuff flowers Rich, tangy aroma, similar to roasted beans, but with little aftertaste. Often consumed before bed due to its gentle, enveloping warmth.

That's chamomile and you can't convince me otherwise.

Chamomile is in the aster family. Loose chamomile looks like this.

Those are Woolpuffs.

Windmiller's Tea

Brewed from Millflowers. A fresh, invigorating tea that clears the sinuses with a minty rush. Said to improve concentration. Can be served cold to alleviate motion sickness.

This is just mint tea. Most people who like tea have a box of peppermint. I use it for nausea all the time.

(mentha piperita)

Like grape leaves, if you want to grow your own, you don't want to harvest this if it's flowered. I usually pinch the buds off mine when it tries to start shit. No flowers. Flowers bitter. Bitter bad. I mean, you can keep a designated bitter bitch if you want the Vibes. I don't recommend letting your herbs designated for consumption bloom until you're done harvesting them for the year but that's my personal preference. Keep a seed plant separate imho.

Fairy Tea

Brewed from Fairy grass A tea with a sweet, refreshing aroma and a clean, slightly tart flavour. Said to be good for soothing nerves and calming the mind. Produces a vivid, translucent blue colour. Turns bright red when combined with an acid (sour flavour).

Probably the most fun tea of the bunch so I saved it for last. Some people are shocked when they find out about this tea. Fairy grass is butterfly pea flower tea (clitoria ternatea) (yes you read that right) which is bright blue. Some people might need help finding it. That's okay.

It does turn violet to red when you add an acid and, much like an elementary school cabbage juice experiment, the hue will be determined by how much acid you mix into it.

Yes, this is a real tea. Yes, it's very yummy. Yes, we need to keep it under wraps so influencers don't make it go viral and start global supply shortages like what happened with matcha and pistachios.

Flavour Slips

The slips are just cinnamon, ginger, and lemon. I'm so not ready to do a prism lemon blog post right now. This took me like four hours by the way. Am I allowed to link my ko-fi? It's magicmetalbird. Feel free to send tips. Sheesh. I'm tired.

Please sound off with your thoughts/input on the matter! I'm really good at completely missing stuff sometimes.

Disclaimer: you know how it is with the herbal/herbalism communities. People claim a lot of things that may or may not be backed by science, research, evidence, etc. There's a lot of misinfo, wild claims about fighting cancer or cellulite etc. out there; lots of articles telling people to forego medical science and adopt ThE AnCiEnT sEcReT tO MeTaBoLiC hEaLtH and whatnot. Logical reasoning please.