#trustyourself

hey lovelies!! mindy here, back with another "no aesthetics post". so i've been thinking about this a lot lately (like, literally in the middle of the night when i should be sleeping but my brain won't shut up??) and i realized something that honestly changed everything for me. we're all obsessed with consuming advice, tips, strategies… but at some point we need to ask: is all this "help" actually helping?

i used to be that girl with 27 self-help books on her nightstand, 14 productivity podcasts in my queue, and approximately 10000 saved posts about "how to live your best life." i was drowning in good advice. and yet? i wasn't actually doing anything with it all.

here's the uncomfortable truth that i personally learned: collecting self-help is often just another form of procrastination. we trick ourselves into thinking we're making progress because we're "learning," but we're actually just avoiding the scary part, taking action when we don't feel ready.

✧ when you know it's become a problem:

you feel like you need to read "just one more" article before starting

you have notebooks filled with advice you've never implemented

you follow dozens of gurus but haven't committed to any single approach

you constantly switch systems hoping to find the "perfect" one

you know what to do but still feel paralyzed

you use phrases like "once i learn enough about x, then i'll start"

you feel overwhelmed by conflicting advice but keep seeking more

the most painful realization? all this consumption is actually making you less confident. every new piece of advice makes you question your instincts more. every contradicting tip makes you doubt your judgment. every perfect "before and after" makes you wonder what's wrong with you.

✧ why we get stuck in the advice loop:

consuming feels safe. implementing feels risky. reading about someone else's success story gives us the emotional satisfaction of achievement without any of the messy work or potential failure. it's like emotional junk food, momentarily satisfying but ultimately empty.

plus, there's something so alluring about the promise that the next book, the next course, the next system will finally be THE ONE that changes everything. we become collectors of solutions rather than solvers of problems.

✧ how to break free (ironic, i know… more advice):

declare an information fast. seriously. no new self-help for at least 30 days. it will feel uncomfortable, like an itch you can't scratch. that's how you know you need it.

pick ONE system or approach you've already learned and commit to it fully. not perfectly, just consistently. the magic isn't in finding the perfect system, it's in the consistent application of any decent one.

start before you feel ready. that knot in your stomach when you think about taking action? that's your growth edge. the discomfort isn't a sign to seek more knowledge, it's the signal that you're about to grow.

recognize that implementation creates wisdom that consumption never will. you'll learn more from a week of messy action than a year of perfect theory.

identify your "consumption triggers" do you reach for advice when you're afraid? uncertain? compare yourself to others? notice the emotional patterns.

create an "already know" document. write down everything you already know about your goal. you'll be shocked at how much wisdom you already possess.

trust that you are the expert on your own life. external advice can inform you, but it can never know the nuances of your specific situation like you do.

the truth is, you already know enough. you've probably known enough for a while now. the answers you're seeking outside yourself are usually already within you, buried under layers of doubt and other people's opinions.

what if the most radical act of self-improvement isn't finding new advice, but trusting the wisdom you already have? what if you already have everything you need?

so this is my gentle nudge to put down the self-help, close the tabs, unfollow the gurus (yes, even me if you need to), and start the messy, imperfect process of actually living instead of just learning about living.

because honestly, the world doesn't need more people who know all the right theories. it needs people brave enough to take imperfect action on what they already know.

xoxo, mindy 🤍

p.s. if you're wondering "but how will i know what to do without guidance?", that's exactly the point. you won't know for certain. and that uncertainty is where the real growth happens. trust yourself anyway.

you have felt it before. that moment when you just knew something was going to happen and then it did. the thing you feared the most that somehow found its way to you. the person you couldn't stop thinking about who suddenly appeared. you brushed it off as coincidence. as luck. as timing.

but what if it wasn't?

what if every single time life felt like it was happening to you, you were actually the one quietly writing it without realizing?

i know that's hard to sit with. because if that's true then every hard thing that ever happened — you have to look at it differently. and that feels heavy. i'm not going to pretend it doesn't.

but it also means every good thing you've ever wanted — the love, the life, the version of yourself you dream about at 2am — that's available too. right now. not someday. not once you figure it all out.

you didn't stumble onto this by accident. something in you already knows this is true. that quiet feeling that your life is supposed to be bigger than this. that you are supposed to be happier than this.

No regrets, no blame—just the wisdom of experience. Trust that even unexpected outcomes have their purpose. 🌱 It may take time to see it, but every twist and turn shapes who you are. Keep moving forward! 💪

Trust Yourself

I was never taught to trust myself.

In fact, I was taught to not trust myself.

It is said that love always trusts.

I guess this means I did not love myself.

Because how can you love someone you can't trust?

I was told I had to always hold my thoughts, my feelings, and my body in absolute mistrust.

My own understanding could not be leaned upon. My heart was deceptively wicked. My flesh was sinful.

So I despised all these things, neglected them, and I could not love myself.

And if everyone else was the same, I could not trust or love them either.

What a mess!

I'm learning to love myself. To trust myself. 

And it's joyful and liberating.