#selfhelp

More books

More water

More patience

More money

More self care

More movement

More fruits

More vegetables

More quality time

More smiles

Validation doesn’t validate you – You no longer need outside approval to feel worthy or secure.

Triggers don’t trigger you – You observe emotional reactions without letting them control you.

You respond instead of react – You pause, process, and choose a conscious response.

You no longer chase people – You know your worth and stop seeking validation from others.

You set boundaries without guilt – Saying no feels empowering, not shameful.

You don’t take things personally – Other people’s actions are about them, not you.

You embrace being alone – Being alone feels peaceful, not lonely.

You trust yourself – You make decisions based on intuition, not fear.

You release old narratives – You stop replaying past wounds and let go of victim mentality.

You allow happiness without fear – You stop waiting for something to go wrong when life is good.

You observe triggers instead of being consumed by them – Triggers become opportunities for self-awareness and growth.

As someone who has gone through SO many versions of herself and is now slowly growing to be a person she's genuinely happy and in love with

Trust me when I say I've had a lot of identities these past few years. It took me a lot of time to really find the best version of myself, the version that I'm genuinely happy with, the version that my 10 year old self would have looked up to. However, it's different for everyone. The definition of an "it girl" to me might be different from your definition, and the personality and life that truly feels me might not suit you. So, please take note that this is highly subjective and it's all about you and what works for you.

The one and only thing I did to rebrand myself: I created a character.

short answer? You find a computer that you don't want running Windows and you install Linux on it. But that's a reddit-ass answer and not what you're looking for.

The Longer and more Accurate Answer is more complicated.

Many supporters of Linux will tell you that the process of "getting it" is not technical, anyone can do it, and that's true... up to a point. I don't know your technical background or experience with computers but if you have never created a bootable USB before, or navigated a computer's BIOS/UEFI menu, or you don't know what a "Distro" is, then the act of installing Linux can be very technical! But it's far from impossible!

The good news is that the process of installing Linux is very hard to mess up in a way that is irreversible! I'm not trying to make a complete step by step since others have made far better tutorials than me, but the simple process is this:

Download a Linux Version (different versions of Linux are called "Distros", shortened from "Distribution") Linux Mint is a good starting point if you're completely new to Linux since it's very user friendly.

You create a Bootable USB of that Linux Version. Essentially putting the Linux OS file on a flash drive in a way that another computer can read and install it.

You use that USB to install Linux on another computer. This process takes many forms, but basically you tell the computer to load Linux off of your USB and replace the OS (usually Windows) that's on the computer already with Linux. This is also the most "technical" part of this process since it involves using BIOS/UEFI menus that most users never see.

Linux installs, and it becomes the OS you see when you turn your computer on from now on!

✧・becoming the girl they can't touch but can't forget・゜✧

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hey lovelies! welcome to the third part of the siren syllabus series!!

i've been really into presence lately. not just being physically present somewhere, but that quiet magnetic energy some people carry that makes them impossible to ignore. you know those girls who walk into a room and somehow shift the air without even trying? the ones who leave conversations and somehow linger in people's minds for days after?

i used to think those girls were just born with something special. some magical fairy dust that made them unforgettable while the rest of us blended into backgrounds. but lately i'm realizing it's not magic at all, it's actually a subtle alchemy of self-possession that any of us can create.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the moment i knew i needed to change ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

last week i was at this coffee shop working on an essay when this girl walked in. nothing flashy about her, simple white tee, jeans, messy bun. but she moved with this quiet certainty that made me stop typing mid-sentence. she wasn't performing for anyone. she wasn't checking to see who was looking. she just existed fully in her skin, ordered her drink without that apologetic tone so many of us use, then sat down and pulled out a book.

i couldn't stop watching her (not in a creepy way i promise). she wasn't conventionally perfect or trying to be the main character, she just fully inhabited herself. and it was magnetic. the way she tucked her hair behind her ear without checking her reflection, how she laughed at something in her book without glancing around to see if anyone noticed. there was something almost otherworldly about someone so completely at ease with themselves.

i want that. not to be watched or admired necessarily, but to exist with that level of self-containment. to be so at home in myself that i don't leak energy seeking validation or apologizing for my existence. to become the kind of presence that lingers in a room long after i've left it.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the quiet practices of magnetic girls ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

i've spent months studying these effortlessly magnetic people and experimenting with little shifts that are slowly changing how i move through the world. here's what i've discovered works:

stop explaining your choices

when i say no to plans, i don't follow with a paragraph justifying why. when someone questions a decision, i don't scramble to make them comfortable with it. my choices don't need defense attorneys. this was honestly terrifying at first (recovering people pleaser here) but the discomfort passes quickly, and what remains is this unexpected feeling of sovereignty.

try this: next time someone asks why you made a choice, simply respond with "it felt right to me" and then let the silence be. notice how uncomfortable it might feel at first, but how powerful it becomes with practice.

take yourself on intentional solo dates

not the performative instagram kind where you stage photos of books and coffee to prove you enjoy your own company. actual dates where i treat myself with the attention and curiosity i'd give someone i was falling for. museums where i linger at whatever painting pulls me in without worrying if i'm boring anyone. restaurants where i order exactly what i want without considering if someone wants to share. movies in empty afternoon theaters where i can fully disappear into stories.

the girl who enjoys her own company without needing to broadcast it has a certain gravity to her. she's not alone because she's unwanted, she's alone because she's complete.

speak with quiet conviction

i used to have this habit of downplaying my thoughts, peppering everything with "maybe" and "i think" and "i could be wrong but." now i say what i mean directly. not unkindly, but clearly. it's amazing how people respond to this, how they actually listen more when you speak with quiet conviction.

practice removing qualifiers from your speech for one day. instead of "i think maybe we should try this approach?" try "this approach would work well here." feel the difference in your body as you speak.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･selective mystery ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

there's something soooooo irresistible about a girl who doesn't reveal everything at once. not in a calculated, playing-games way, but in the natural unfolding of someone who understands that intimacy is earned, not given freely to everyone who asks.

create intentional boundaries around your energy

i've started being much more selective about where my emotional energy goes. not everyone deserves access to your deepest thoughts, your vulnerabilities, your dreams. share these precious parts of yourself only with those who have shown they can hold them with care.

this isn't about being cold or distant, it's understanding your own worth. the girl they can't forget knows that her inner world is a garden with a gate, not a public park.

presence over performance

in a world obsessed with performing for invisible audiences online, there's something revolutionary about being fully present in your actual life. i've been practicing putting my phone away when i'm with friends, making eye contact during conversations, really listening instead of waiting for my turn to speak.

presence is magnetic in a way that performance can never be. the unforgettable girl isn't the one with the most followers. she's the one who made you feel truly seen in a conversation months ago that you still think about.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the contrast ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

the most magnetic people i know contain beautiful contradictions. they're warm but selective with their energy. kind but firm with their boundaries. soft in their approach but uncompromising in their values. there's an intriguing tension in someone who can't be easily categorized.

selective vulnerability

being vulnerable doesn't mean emotionally exposing yourself to everyone. it means having the courage to be seen fully by those who have earned that privilege. i'm learning to share my deeper truths with a chosen few rather than seeking validation through constant emotional disclosure.

maintain your own sacred rituals

develop practices that are just for you, not for content, not for sharing, not for anyone else's consumption. maybe it's a morning writing ritual, a special place you visit alone, a playlist you only listen to when you need to reconnect with yourself. these private anchors give you a sense of self that exists completely independent of external validation.

the strangest part of all this? the less i grasp for attention or validation, the more i seem to linger in people's minds. the girl they can't touch but can't forget isn't trying to be unforgettable, she's just fully embodied in her own life.

it's not being untouchable in a cold way. what i'm saying is having boundaries that come from self-respect rather than fear. it's about being warm and open while remaining firmly rooted in who you are.

who are you when you're not trying to be liked? what would it feel like to move through your days without seeking external validation? that's where the magic lives, in that quiet certainty that you are enough exactly as you are, not performing for anyone, just existing fully in your own skin.

and isn't that the most magnetic thing of all?

xoxo, mindy 🤍