"If you think hateful thoughts about yourself, and you're queer, that's queerphobic, and it's illegal to be queerphobic during pride month!"
How about we not make straight queers* feel guilty and paranoid about being "not queer enough" during pride month? (*Aspec straights, trans & gender diverse straights, intersex straights, lesbihets, turihets, m-specs straights, polyamorous hets, nonrose hets, etc, etc, etc?)
How about we not make people with internalized queerphobia feel guilty for intrusive thoughts?
How about we stop making a billion posts encouraging moral OCD during pride month?
[PT: How about we stop making a billion posts encouraging moral OCD during pride month? /End PT]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Ever since being diagnosed with OCD, I keep wondering how many people are in the same position I was only a few months ago: Believing that their intrusive thoughts are who they are because they’ve never been told otherwise.
I have looked into OCD multiple times over the years— which was why I was so convinced I didn’t have it. I didn’t hear the term “moral scrupulosity” until I was given my diagnosis. I didn’t know that my ceaseless, exhausting mental war over whether or not I’m a good person counted as intrusive. I didn’t know ripping yourself apart for things you could have done or could have said after every conversation, often to the point of tears, was not normal behavior.
Because I didn’t know these thoughts were intrusive, they were confirming themselves. I thought that making myself feel this way was right, as if it were divine punishment from a god I don’t believe in for the sin of being alive. That makes sense, I’d think. I am Bad and deserve to Suffer.
I figured everyone else felt this way too. I figured that they must handle it better than I can, which I counted as another moral failure on my part.
Finding out that no, most people aren’t fighting their own thoughts this hard every moment of every day, has changed my life. It’s still hard not to think that I deserve the suffering I put myself through, but I have an out now. Before, the only answer I had was of course I deserve it. Now, I can think deserve or not, this is a disorder in my brain that’s not meant to happen.
It tortures me. How many people are going through life believing their intrusive thoughts are just their thoughts? And how much would change for them if they knew that wasn’t true?
The thing I hate the most about being a writer with ocd is that I can’t write what I want without struggling. I can’t write certain phrases or words or scenes without the fear of backlash or it coming into reality. It’s exhausting and it’s very true that ocd always comes after what you love the most because that’s what it’s always done for me
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
This blog is intended as a safe space for all ocd discussion, as somebody who has been diagnosed my whole life and had extremely violent OCD since I was a child.
For those with OCD, I hope this blog can be a place to safely share your
vents/intrusive thoughts
confessions/takes
positive and negative experiences
experiences
and simply share a space with those who can hear you.
For those without OCD or those uninformed, I will gladly also answer asks about
medical questions
experience questions
confessions/takes
examples of asks:
"Hi, I had (this experience with ocd) today. I dont want advice, I just wanna share. -anon."
"Hi, im an author, how do i write ocd compulsions respectfully?"
"Hi, I have (type)ocd, can others with (type)ocd tell me if they relate to (thing)?"
but please note, i do not speak for everyone. I suggest if you want info, you turn on the notifs for the post with your ask and allow others to insight you as well.
My name is Wright, I've had extreme OCD my whole life, and it has disabled me in every function of the word. As a child, I would have panic attacks and meltdowns over other kids "putting their pencils on the desk wrong", I had violent intrusive thoughts about things I didn't want, I convinced myself I was diseased, was extremely paranoid, and worst of all did not understand what was happening.
I was removed from the public school system when I was a child because I was "unstable" and depressed in elementary, which led to me being isolated and violently abused with no support. My abuse made my OCD worse, giving me constant and hard to logic episodes about my own morality. My anxiety and panic over things being out of order became full shutdowns or moral episodes over walking through doors with the "wrong foot", not touching the counter exactly four times, or biting my food unevenly.
I skipped middle school, then half of high school. I went for one year and was so unable to function I left again, was held back multiple grades, and still am.
OCD has ruined many aspects of my life and I am not shy to say it disables me, but it also doesn't ruin me. It is shockingly little of my personality, in fact.
I am a writer, I draw occasionally, my special interest is a rock band from the 2000s, and I am extremely knowledgeable in snakes. I like the color orange, Marvel, lukewarm weather, reptiles, cold war legalities, and blueberry espresso.
"OCD thrives by inflating even the faintest possibility until it feels urgent and unavoidable. This relentless focus on "what if" keeps the cycle of obsession and compulsion alive. Debating the likelihood of your feers or seeking reassurance doesn't weaken OCD's hold; it may even strengthen it by reinforcing the belief that the possibility, however remote, deserves attention and action"
