This is not for you.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

#fuckbob

image 1: uncredited #shoutout to the person from the admin team who once sent me an excel sheet #and told me to print it out and fill it in BY HAND #and then scan it and send it back to her #and when I cautiously asked if there was a reason why I couldn't just fill it out on the computer #she gave me a look of mild surprise #and replied 'oh you could do that I suppose' #?????? #what the fuck is your team doing up there??

image 2: tags from lordmaddie #Once one of my colleagues, after asking a user for a screenshot of the error they were seeing #Received, some days later, a letter from said user #They'd taken their laptop to the scanner, SCANNED THE SCREEN #printed off the scan, and POSTED IT TO OUR OFFICE

image 3: tags from nukenai #my job is literally reviewing documentation that has been submitted #things have to be uploaded digitally #either by the consumer or by a worker assisting them #the amount of times i receive photographs of phones with photos of ID cards on them is insane #like. just upload. from that phone. #the phone you are photographing #why are you photographing your phone with another phone why are you ding this

image 4: tags from jarino #i used to have managers print out their filled out forms and then send me a picture of said form #instead of just...sending the form

image 5: tags from hematiterings #I used to work on PDFs by annotating them with the Adobe tool #and once someone replied to my comments on a pdf #by making a PowerPoint with screenshots of the pdf and writing their answers to me in the comments of the ppt #I have no idea why they did this btw

image 6: tags from iljanne #work and it related: i had to share links to all our sharepoint folders for a coworker #no one could get her access for 2 years and counting #and then my other coworker turned to me after i explained what i did 'oh yeah thats what we did for the boss! ah.. we. couldve done that #for nadia. huh...' #like yeAH #TWO YEARS #You had the SOLUTION??

image 7: uncredited, partially cut off email me what was clearly a printed out Excel file that they'd then filled out by hand and scanned back into the system #Presumably something they did when they realized they couldn't fax it over #I am not kidding when I say I don't understand how society continues to function when the tech skill level is so low #Even in my own office it's disturbing #There was an office-wide freak-out bc I used the color-categorize option on some emails. #Where all these colors coming from?! #I don't understand!!! #The handful of ppl in the office with a brain tried to explain to them but they were like chickens with their heads cut off :/ #The other day it was two of my coworkers not understanding how to message someone on Teams that wasn't already in their chat history #...we've used Teams for like five years now. And even if you didn't already "know" the process for it it's so easy/intuitive to click around #and find out? This has to be that fundamental lack of curiosity thing some people have going on #Bc believe me. I get it being difficult--ever since I became visually impaired it's sooo much harder to learn new tech/software-- #but it's not impossible

image 8: tags from lensdeer #my boss regularly sends me the worst fucking excel files in history so yeag i believe that #shes sent me crusty phone pictures of excel file printouts and asked me to input what she wrote into the file

image 9: tags from moonybyte #literally what it's like whenever I have to order stuff at my job #most of the stuff we can just fill in and send around/save as a file perfectly fine #but if I have to order something? #print the sheet #sign it #scan that back in #put the scanned document into ANOTHER document #save that document as pdf to send it to my superiors #who then supposedly print that out and send it via actual non-digital mail #the process of all that always makes me question things sometimes

image 10: tags from cryptidfloyd #one time my boss printed out 40 of the exact same sheets and told me to write the same thing on all of them #and i tried to say "couldnt i just do one sheet and copy it 39 times" but she kept interrupting me telling me "just write x on them" #i did the copies anyway #i think she was mad i thought of it and she didnt #she probably would have told me no if someone she liked didnt tell me how good of an idea it was (help me) #she is constantly making shit endlessly more complicated than it needs to be

booboo wheel

booboo missile

booboo shield

That being said, I'm sure Carpenter would burn the whole thing to the ground

Look, I talk a big game about maintaining the integrity and finality of stories, but on the other hand: