#ocd help

Idk if this will actually be seen by the right people, but I'm not really prepared for everyone I know in my personal life to see this, so I'm just posting here, hoping that shouting into the void might help me.

I am officially diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, have depression and anxiety (medicated), have chronic illness of the tummy troubles variety, and today, after making a little joke in an ADHD group about "lol just adhd things" several people, and I do mean several came back and said, "um...those are classic signs of OCD."

So I did what any millennial would do, and I did a little research, and after taking an online assessment from a reputable psych website, it claims I show signs of moderate OCD.

I have harm OCD. I feel like I can’t share anything going on that is distressing me because if other people knew they would look at me differently and I couldn’t blame them.

I’m not a violent person. I would never hurt anything or any one, but the shit that goes through my head is jsut downright disturbing. Things happening to me. Things I do to other people. Every other thought through my head makes me physically sick to my stomach. I can’t be in public for long amounts of times without panic attacks. I struggle to be around animals, which are my favorite things in the world.

It makes you feel like you’re disgusting, perverted, the problem with society. You’re the bad guy. It’s not true, that’s what OCD is it’s an anxiety disorder. It grabs onto the things your most afraid of and don’t want to think about and shoves it to the front of your mind for hours, days, weeks at a time.

For friends with ocd:

-you are loved

-you are not a bad person for having thoughts you cannot control. You are not a bad person.

-these are not urges they are intrusive thoughts. You do not want to do these things, they are simply thoughts.

-it is OK TO SHARE WITH PEOPLE YOU FEEL SAFE WITH! The more distressed you get about intrusive thoughts the worse they get! Seeking help is always the best option!

So uhhhhh I just got diagnosed with ocd… anyone else here have ocd and is willing to have a chat about it?

Lots of love!

Riot

question for other ocd ppl

new contamination trigger!!!!! woohoo! guess what it is?!?!

showering. yes. showering. y'know, the thing that makes you clean?...had a panic attack in the shower not even 20 minutes ago because if the water if touching me, then it's also touching potential germs and viruses and rashes, and the water will spread to non-contaminated parts of me, and spread it there, and so on. ive convinced myself that i somehow have mrsa??? i know that in less than a week, i'll be okay again, but ocd is ocd. writing these out actually help a lot; reminds me that even though my fears are valid and justified, obsessing the way i do is a bit silly.

if you have ocd, and youre still reading, heres a coping tip (this works for all ocd's btw) (currently the only thing keeping me from running to urgent care "just to be sure"). let's say theres a spot on your arm, dont tell yourself that "its not (fill in the blank), its not ____, its not ____, its nothing contagious!!" because youre only feeding into the fear. instead, imagine the worst case scenario head on. you have to. otherwise you'll just be running from the fears you obsess over for the rest of your life.

you have to imagine the worst case scenario, and then walk yourself through it all working out. like, i also have a fear of cars. ever since i was a kid, i would imagine them flipping over, me getting impaled by whatever i was holding, flying out the window, getting crushed, ect, the only reason i can even get into a car is because i imagine the worst case, and then picture everything working out. the car flipped over? im okay, a trip to the hospital and im home within a few days. or what about something like pink eye? worst case, i get it in both eyes. does that suck? yeah. is it scary? yeah. BUT people get pink eye, and then they. get. better. they wash their hands after touching their eyes, wash their pillow case, put some eye drops in, and move on with their life. i have to be able to do that. i have to be able to continue living.

so yeah, i was afraid to shower. but i did. i dont think i have mrsa. but even if i do, the sun stays warm, the earth spins, and it will heal and go away. if i have it, i will live as i did last week, but be a bit more careful, and change the bandaid out. i will have to contintue to live. just as everyone else.