Jul 15
the way ocd is all-consuming is so annoyinggggg like bro not everything is about you
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the way ocd is all-consuming is so annoyinggggg like bro not everything is about you
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Indulging in the Compulsion to ease the Obsession in the Disorder in a way that outwardly helps others but inwardly reinforces the OCD obsession-compulsion loop of confirming to myself that my worth to others is how useful I can be instead of acknowledging my inherent worth as a human being
Surely this will not have long-term negative consequences on my self image and self worth and how I interact with others
Sometimes I’m like I don’t think I have ocd I’m just overthinking
Then I get triggered and I’m like hmmm ohh so yeah mama does have ocd
i've been diagnosed with ocd (as of a couple weeks ago at least) and the more i think about it the more im kicking myself for not catching it earlier
like wdym it wasn't normal to constantly ruminate about the decisions i make throughout the day and try to pick them apart? what do you mean there's mental compulsions that fit me to a T? what do you mean i was reassurance seeking when i was (very foolishly) convinced i had rabies? (it's a long story)
i have come to not really care about being awkward anymore. at the risk of being like "i'm weird. i'm weirdo. i don't fitttt in-" i feel trying to be "normal" instead of embracing and making light of awkwardness is so much more painful for you and everyone involved. it also makes me less worried about any awkward interaction because i now know its not the end of the world. as long as you're kind that is really all it takes imo. also, people have probably experienced weirder interactions than the one you just had with them. embrace the absurdity and sometimes making a little fool of yourself. you'll be way more relaxed.
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SUCCESS! Somewhat related but i have succeeded in finally removing the dead junebug that has been on my floor for the past like. Month or two. (left there because of aforementioned bug phobia issues AND previously not stated contamination ocd issues about dead things (ESP dead bugs))
BUT, But!! I am so successful and cool and have no problems actually. task complete ehehe 🎉🎉🎉
cleaned the bathroom now i’m laying on couch in clothes i cleaned in there are exposures everywhere for those with eyes to see etc etc
it really is just OCD all the way down. i get over one theme and i gain another. just like how the seasons change, i too change along with my beautiful wife Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.