#ocd problems

"It's me, isn't it?"

I have looked into OCD multiple times over the years— which was why I was so convinced I didn’t have it. I didn’t hear the term “moral scrupulosity” until I was given my diagnosis. I didn’t know that my ceaseless, exhausting mental war over whether or not I’m a good person counted as intrusive. I didn’t know ripping yourself apart for things you could have done or could have said after every conversation, often to the point of tears, was not normal behavior.

Because I didn’t know these thoughts were intrusive, they were confirming themselves. I thought that making myself feel this way was right, as if it were divine punishment from a god I don’t believe in for the sin of being alive. That makes sense, I’d think. I am Bad and deserve to Suffer.

I figured everyone else felt this way too. I figured that they must handle it better than I can, which I counted as another moral failure on my part.

Finding out that no, most people aren’t fighting their own thoughts this hard every moment of every day, has changed my life. It’s still hard not to think that I deserve the suffering I put myself through, but I have an out now. Before, the only answer I had was of course I deserve it. Now, I can think deserve or not, this is a disorder in my brain that’s not meant to happen.

Hi! I’m Delainey Gill—Lane for short—I have been diagnosed with OCD for three years and showing symptoms for twelve.

This is my first post involving study tips so I am going to start with some very (basic) tips! As I post more the tips will get less broad and more specific.

Environment is extremely important, the first step to improving your ability to study is to figure out what works best for YOU. Not others.

Do you study best in the morning before school or the afternoon/night after?

Do you do best in silence or with sound? If you need sound figure out what type—rain sounds, white noise, brown noise, one of the other various kinds of noise, music with vocals, music without vocals, a TV show, etc!

Do you study better at a desk? On your bed? In a library? Find a good room for you! Personally I prefer my bed, but some people find they begin to link their bed to stress, it just depends on you!

Have a water bottle near you, this one may seem obvious but hydration is ineffably important.

Obviously most people get hungry when they are studying, it is best to avoid high-carb and sugary snacks that lead to energy crashes! Though, eat chips and all the sugary and carb snacks you want, they aren’t something you should avoid, they just mess with your body and brain while studying! It is also important to have your snacks readily available so you are not leaving your study space. I have listed some of the best snacks (and why)

- Nuts & Seeds: Walnuts, almonds, and pumpkin seeds provide sustained energy.

- Berries: Strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries improve blood flow to the brain.

- Dark Chocolate: 70% or higher cocoa provides natural stimulants and caffeine for focus.

- Healthy Fats/Protein: Avocado toast, hard-boiled eggs, and yogurt keep you full. Which is perfect for long study sessions.

- Veggies & Dip: Baby carrots, cucumber slices, or bell peppers with hummus or guacamole provide vitamins and a satisfying crunch, that while not exactly chips, still give partially what you may want!

- Popcorn: A high-volume, fibrous snack that can be topped with various items.

- Fruit: Apples, grapes, and bananas are easy, quick energy sources.

- Cheese: Cheddar, string cheese, or mozzarella balls provide a good source of protein.

- Nut Butter: Pair with apples, celery, or crackers for a filling snack.

- Whole-Grain Crackers: Good for pairing with cheese or hummus.

- Tart Cherries/Kiwi: Contain natural melatonin to help with sleep after studying.

- Turkey Roll-Ups: Lean protein that is light but satisfying.

- Trail Mix: A mix of nuts, seeds, and dried fruit for healthy energy.