summary: calling them your husband, this was a tiktok trend a few years ago, and it been on my mind.
characters: hugo, loki, sae, kaiser
c/n: fluff, may be ooc (I don't trust my characterization), suggestive if you squint, implied fem reader, mentions of food(?)
àłââ·vivien hugo
you and hugo were lounging on the couch lazily. you were mindlessly scrolling on your phone while hugo was lying on your lap, "reading". very mundane. except for one thing, you both were hungry but to lazy to cook so you had to find other options.
âokay so clearly since none of us are willing to cook, lets order pizzaâ you swiftly dialed the number and stated your usual order and thenâ âyes and for my husband he'll have anything that doesnât have avocadosâŠokay thank youâ
hugo froze. his blank book slipped out of his hand and fell flat on his face. he sat up straight and looked at you wide eyed. the cogs in his brain turned trying to process that just came out of your mouth so casually. my husband. your husband. He kept on repeating the phrase as if he was tasting it, letting it settle in his chest. a faint blush started to form.
you looked over at him, with a little grin, noticing his shocked expression. âwhat?â
âhusband?? me...but weâre notââ he paused. âwell...at least not yetâ he looked down. You could tell he was thinking so much about this. âhusbandâ he whispered under his breath rubbing his ring finger. he looked back at you and gave you a little smile. he liked it.
when the delivery arrived, you went to get it and hugo tailed you. once you retrieved the bags, out of nowhere hugo looked at the man dead in the eye and said, âI am her husbandâ âvivien??â
the delivery man just chuckled and left.
you threw him a light punch at the chest. âwhat the hell was that?â âno take backs. marriage is legally binding.â oh God what have you done.
that night, after you fell asleep he silently measured the size of your ring finger, making a mental note of your ring size.
oh and his team DID NOT hear the end of it. he practically made it his entire personality
âwho you textingâ âmy wifeâ âyoure married??â âalmostâ
àłââ·julien loki
you scoured the menu for something you liked. Loki was a bit distracted on his phone. he didnt really need to order, you already knew what he wanted so you were going to order for him. "so I'll have the Coq au Vin and my husband will have the Boeuf Bourguignon and for dessert we'll have the Guimauve Chocola." loki smiled at his phone and looked up at you. the waitress jotted down your orders and left.
and so the night proceeded. loki didnât say anything significant. he just smiled at you while you blabbered about your day. he didnât want to make it obvious that what you said gave him the biggest ego boost. after the meal it was time to pay the check, loki took the bill.
âI'll pay the billâ flashing you a smile with a hint of amusement in his eyes âI am your husband after allâ
you looked at him. oh he liked it. perhaps a bit too much. you ordered an Uber back to your hotel. he teased you relentlessly the entire drive. "so does your husband get some special loving tonight?" "oh my gosh, enough with this already"
the Uber driver thought you both made a cute couple. "are you two married?"
you sat up looking at the driver in horror "no! we areâ"
"yes we are. I'm her husband" loki interrupted, proudly announcing a title he unofficially just earned a few hours ago. he then looked at you. "isn't that right, mon amour?"
that night, while you were preparing for bed, loki walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing kisses on your nape. âsomeoneâs awfully pleased with himself â you teased. he pulled you closer. his lips grazed your ear and he whispered âwhy wouldnât I be? You introduced me as your husband todayâ
âpuhleaseâ you huffed. âit just slippedâ you lied; you did it on purpose.
âdid it?â he smiled, âbutââ he continued âI liked it. It suited our statusâ
those words caught you off guard and you became flustered. you are screwed.
àłââ·sae itoshi
sae wondered how you managed to get him in this situation; fastfood drive-thru. âthis is very unhealthy for youâ he said, condescendingly. he could smell the greasy food that was escaping the kitchen through the vents.
âI'll be having the burrito and fries, extra sauce pleaseâ you turned to sae âanything youâd like?â
he looked at you with dead eyes âI donât eat unhealthy filthâ
you sighed and turned back to the intercom. â...and my husband will have a salad with spicy wings I guessâŠâ
saeâs head shot back at you, his eyes wide and pupils dilating. he was so shocked that his stoic nonchalant, demeanour faultered for a second âwhatâ
âhusband? me?â he muttered in disbelief pointing at himself.
âdid I say something?â you raised a brow towards him, with a flirty smile.
âno, Iââ he let out a slow breath, regaining his demeanor â⊠you didnâtâ
at the payment window, you volunteered to pay but sae wouldnât let you. he intercepted, handing the cashier his card without even glancing at you. âI am the husband I'll payâ
on the way home, he didnât want to face you,he couldn't. but you knew he liked it. his cheeks were lightly flushed while he focused on the road. and he kept his hand firmly on your thigh the whole ride home.
àłââ·michael kaiser
michael was concentrated on driving, his hand on the steering and his other alternating between the gear shift and your thigh, on the way to an expensive dinner reservation. you were occupied on a call with your friend. as you were approaching the destination you had to end the call:
âokay babe I have to go now, my husband and I are on our way to have some dinnerââ
the car suddenly swerved just enough for you to have a mini heart attack and grab the dashboard.
âMICHAEL WHAT THE HELL!â
he regained his control over the wheel, a devilish grin forming from his lips. he kept on replaying those words in his head the rest of the way. once parked outside the restaurant he turned to you, with the biggest grin. âhusband huh. I like that, say it againâ
âuh whaââ
ânoâ he cut you off, rubbing his chin. âsay it in german, ja?â
âmichael we have reservations we need to goâ
âthat shit can waitâ he scoffed âI want to hear you say it. I need to hear you say itâ
good god you have created a monster.
âmein Ehemannâ you eventually say.
music to his ears. âmhm yes I am Schatz. that sounds so good.â
he definitely did not let that go.
at the front desk he spoke out to the young lady. "good evening, she made reservations under her husband's name, my name" you shot him a 'stop that' glare.
oh he wouldn't shut up about it during the dinner as well, introducing himself to the wait staff as your husband.
you kept on nudging at him to stop. "shut up about what? being your husband??" and he said this loudly attracting the attention of all the patrons
a/n: I do intend on making a part two because I want to add nagi, reo and yukki. just didn't want to make this post too long. if you want anyone else added, please let me know!
first draft. I proofread the hell out of this and kept on becoming longer. dividers from @dollywons
pardon if there are any mistakes. english is in fact my first language, but I'm still on the learning curve of actually writing.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
đčđđđđ: this story inspired at this video i saw it from x/twitter
8:27 AM - Bedroom
The morning light filters through the curtains, casting soft shadows across the light blue sheets where you lie face-down, your bare back exposed to the cool air. Your patterned pajama pants cling to your hips, the only barrier between you and the crisp morning. The blanket suddenly lifts away, and Kaiser's weight settles onto the mattress behind you.
"Hey, wake up," his voice cuts through your drowsy state, "or else I fuck you."
Before you can respond, his hands are on you, yanking down your pajama pants with impatient fingers. The fabric slides down your thighs, leaving you completely exposed. His palm presses between your legs, rubbing roughly against your pussy as he positions himself behind you. Your moan escapes involuntarily as his fingers part your folds, testing your readiness.
"Already wet for me," he mutters, his voice thick with satisfaction. His cock presses against your entrance, pushing inside with deliberate slowness that makes your body tense beneath him. The stretch burns as he sinks deeper, your upper body pressed firmly into the mattress while he grips your hips with bruising force.
Kaiser begins thrusting immediately, his heavy body covering yours completely as he drives into you. Each movement forces your bare breasts against the sheets, your nipples rubbing against the fabric with every impact. His 80kg frame pins you down, making escape impossible as he fucks you with increasing intensity. Your face stays buried in the pillow, muffling your sounds as he uses your body for his morning release.
"Take it," he growls, his fingers digging deeper into your flesh. "This is what happens when you don't wake up when I tell you to."
His thrusts become erratic, his cock swelling inside you before he floods your pussy with hot cum. He stays buried deep, grinding against you as his orgasm pulses through him, ensuring every drop stays inside before finally pulling out.
9:20 AM - Bathroom
Steam from the shower still lingers in the air as you stand at the sink, your tight tank top riding up to expose your midriff while you brush your teeth. The minty foam fills your mouth as you lean over the counter, completely unaware of Kaiser's approach until his presence looms behind you.
His shorts hit the floor with a soft sound. His erect cock presses against your ass, the head sliding between your cheeks as he positions himself. Without warning, he pushes inside your already cum-filled pussy, the mixture of his previous load and your arousal making the penetration slick and easy.
You brace yourself against the sink, your toothbrush still in your mouth as he begins thrusting. Each movement rocks your body forward, your breasts swaying beneath the thin tank top. The tiled bathroom amplifies every sound - the wet slap of skin on skin, your muffled moans around the toothbrush, his heavy breathing.
Kaiser reaches around to grab your jaw, tilting your head back as he fucks you harder against the counter. "Keep brushing," he commands, his other hand gripping your hip to hold you steady. "Don't stop just because I'm using you."
Your attempts to continue the mundane task become increasingly difficult as his pace intensifies. The toothbrush falls from your lips, clattering into the sink as your hands grip the counter edge. His cock drives deep with each thrust, the angle allowing him to hit spots that make your legs shake.
"Fuck, you're still so tight," he pants, his fingers leaving marks on your skin. "Even after I filled you up this morning."
His second orgasm hits with force, his cock pulsing as he empties another load inside you. Cum leaks out around his shaft, dripping down your thighs as he continues shallow thrusts to work it deeper.
11:47 AM - Mirror Sequence
The white rug feels soft beneath your knees as you kneel in front of the full-length mirror, applying makeup with careful precision. Your black long-sleeve crop top hugs your torso while the black thong leaves most of your ass exposed. The peaceful moment shatters when Kaiser steps in front of you, his semi-hard cock already at eye level.
"Open," he orders, his hand tangling in your hair. Your lips part automatically, accepting his length as he pushes past them. The taste of his skin mixes with traces of your previous encounters, the evidence of his morning activities still coating his shaft.
Your lipstick leaves red prints along his cock as you take him deeper, your eyes watering as he hits the back of your throat. Kaiser holds your head steady, guiding your movements with firm pressure as you work your mouth along his length.
"Look at yourself," he demands, tilting your head so you can see your reflection. "See how desperate you look with my cock in your mouth."
The overhead angle captures every detail - your lips stretched around his girth, saliva dripping down your chin, your body positioned on all fours like an offering. He fucks your face with increasing roughness, using your mouth for his pleasure while you struggle to maintain the rhythm.
"That's it, take it all," he groans, his grip tightening in your hair. "Show me how much you want it."
When he cums, it's directly down your throat, thick ropes of cum forcing you to swallow or choke. Some escapes the corners of your mouth, mixing with your lipstick as he pulls out, leaving you gasping and marked.
1:22 PM - Living Room Couch
The large white couch cushions sink beneath your weight as you lie on your back, legs spread wide while Kaiser kneels between your thighs. Your black crop top is the only clothing remaining, pushed up to expose your breasts as he positions his cock at your entrance.
"Time for round four," he announces, pushing inside with one smooth thrust. Your phone rests forgotten in your hand as he begins fucking you, each movement making your body bounce against the cushions.
Kaiser leans over you, his weight pressing you deeper into the couch as he drives his cock into your cum-soaked pussy. The wet sounds of his thrusts fill the living room, mixing with your increasingly desperate moans. Your free hand grips his shoulder, nails digging into his skin as he fucks you with single-minded focus.
"Count them," he orders, his voice strained with exertion. "Tell me how many times I've used you today."
"F-four," you gasp, your voice breaking as he hits a particularly sensitive spot. "This is the fourth time."
"Good girl," he praises, his pace becoming more aggressive. "And we're not even done yet."
His thrusts grow more frantic, the couch creaking beneath you as he chases his release. When he cums, it's with a guttural groan, his cock pulsing as he adds another load to your already overflowing pussy. Cum leaks out around his shaft, soaking into the white cushions beneath you.
3:39 PM - Kitchen
The marble kitchen table feels cold against your palms as you lean over it, your brown polo fitted tightly across your tits while you attempt to focus on your laptop. The glasses perched on your nose slide down slightly as you concentrate on the screen, completely unaware of Kaiser's approach until his hands grip your hips.
"Working hard?" he asks mockingly, his naked body pressing against your back. His cock slides between your thighs, finding your entrance with practiced ease. The fabric of your polo tears as he yanks it open, buttons scattering across the marble surface.
"Kaiser, waitâ" your protest dies as he pushes inside, his cock stretching your abused pussy once again. The position forces you onto your tiptoes, your upper body pressed against the cool marble while he fucks you from behind.
His hands grip your hips with bruising force, pulling you back to meet each thrust. The modern kitchen setting contrasts sharply with the raw, animalistic way he uses your body. Your laptop slides across the table with each impact, the screen displaying forgotten work as pleasure overrides everything else.
"Such a good little fuck toy," he pants, his voice thick with lust. "Always ready for me, no matter what you're doing."
The torn polo hangs from your shoulders, exposing your breasts to the cool air as he pounds into you. Your moans echo off the kitchen walls, mixing with the wet sounds of his cock driving into your cum-filled pussy.
When he cums, it's with enough force to push you forward across the table, your body sliding on the marble as he empties another load inside you. The excess cum drips down your thighs, pooling on the kitchen floor beneath you.
8:13 PM - Living Room Couch (Evening)
The lingerie dress clings to your curves, the delicate fabric pulled aside to expose your pussy as you position yourself on all fours on the living room couch. The thong is soaked through with the evidence of your day, the fabric pushed to the side as Kaiser kneels behind you.
"Last one for today," he promises, though his tone suggests otherwise. His cock presses against your entrance, sliding inside with ease thanks to the multiple loads already filling you. The doggy-style position allows him to drive deeper than before, his hands gripping your hips as he begins thrusting.
The close-up view captures every detail - his thick cock disappearing into your pussy, the way your ass ripples with each impact, his fingers leaving marks on your skin. Your lingerie dress rides up around your waist, the delicate material bunching as he fucks you with increasing intensity.
"Look at this mess," he groans, watching his previous loads leak out around his cock. "You've been such a good cum dump today."
His thrusts become more aggressive, the couch cushions muffling your increasingly loud moans as he uses you for his final release. The position allows him to hit spots that make your vision blur, your arms giving out as you collapse face-down into the cushions.
Kaiser follows you down, his weight pinning you completely as he drives his cock deeper. "Take it all," he commands, his voice strained. "Every fucking drop."
His final orgasm is the most intense, his cock pulsing as he floods your pussy one last time. The sheer volume forces cum to leak out around his shaft, soaking the couch cushions beneath you as he grinds against you, ensuring every drop stays inside.
12 at the midnight
By the end of the day, your body bears the evidence of six intense encounters. Cum leaks from your well-used pussy, your skin marked with fingerprints and bruises from Kaiser's grip. The torn clothing and scattered buttons throughout the apartment tell the story of a day spent being used for his pleasure, your body serving as his personal toy from morning until night.
Michael Kaiser who makes you wear a crown while he fucks you
Michael Kaiser. The Emperor.
Everyone knew the footballer for his massive ego as much as they knew him for his skill. The kind of man that makes cameras and eyes land on him as soon as he steps onto the field, the kind of man who had women throwing themselves at his feet, the kind of man with an ego and pride so astronomical it was astounding to everyone that he had found a partner he found worthy of not only his presence, but his love, his care, and his attention.
His Empress. Itâs what the news outlets started calling you after seeing you at games wearing his jersey, but Michael came up with the nickname first, because only an Empress such as you, could be worthy of being with an Emperor like him.
So thatâs why, when he has you on top of him, your thighs straddling his lap, his cock buried inside your sweet pussy, both of you completely bare and naked for one another, he has a custom Versace crown placed on top of your head. Because only his Empress is worthy of being on top of him like this, only youâre allowed to see him like this, his head resting on the pillows, his hands gripping your thighs, and noises only made for you slipping past his lips.
Michaels utterly mesmerized, your tits bouncing up and down as you grind on his cock. Your hips moving in hypnotizing circles, your nails digging into his chest, and a custom six figure crown resting on your head.
âMihyaâhaahâ You moaned on top of him, âMmm-Iâm getting tired,â You whined, your legs burning from hopping up and down on his dick for so long.
If it were anyone else, he wouldâve called them weak, but youâre his perfect Empress, and he makes sure to treat you like it.
âMy poor SchatziâŠâ He spoke as he flipped you over in an instant.
Before you knew it you were on your back, the crown fallen onto the pillows underneath you, and Michael kissing your ankle as you got adjusted to the new position.
Michael picked up the crown and placed it lopsided on your head. He stared at you for a moment, taking in the sight of you laying under him, on his silk sheets. He leaned in to kiss you and slowly began thrusting again.
âWas my Empress getting tired?â He asked, genuine concern lacing his voice as he began thrusting into you harder, as he kissed your jaw and then down to your neck.
You reached your arms around him and dug your nails into his back, nodding weakly. He looked into your watery eyes, you biting your lip, all from the pleasure he was giving you. It drove him mad.
âScheiĂe,â He groaned, âDonât look at me like that Schatz, you know what it does to me,â He moaned on top of you, his thrusts getting faster and faster.
You did know what it did to him, that was the point. You loved seeing him go crazy for you, fall apart for you, because no one else got to see him like this.
Michael would rather die than show any weakness or vulnerability, but for you? Heâs whimpered, kneeled on the ground, and kissed your feet. It satiated something in you, knowing only you could get him like that.
Super models, actresses, and fangirls threw themselves at him everyday, but only you could get him like this. Only you could make Michael Kaiser fall apart on top of you just by batting your eyelashes.
âSchatz-haahâ He moaned into your ear, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
Your right hand moved to his head, fingers entwining in his hair, âMihyaa-go de-deeper, Mihyaâ You whined beneath him, your legs wrapping around his waist, back arching, and toes curling, because the pleasure was just too much.
He listened without complaints, you were the only person able to boss him around, of course. Michael began rutting into you, hitting that spongey spot inside you that made you see stars.
You cried out, your nails clawing at his back, definitely leaving marks deep enough to scar.
Michael groaned on top of you, you could feel him getting closer by the way his dick was pulsing inside you. Instinctively your pussy squeezed around him, pulling him in deeper to you.
He let out a whimper, a fucking whimper.
âSchatzâI-Iâm close,â He moaned out breathily, his hands clutching you, the sheets, anything to ground him as your pretty pussy ruined him.
âCome inside Mihyaâ You cooed, your hand grabbing his jaw to pull him into a kiss.
Michael threw one hand into your hair, gripping onto you for dear life, and pushed down on your stomach with the other.
Both of you rolled your eyes back immediately, moaning obscenely into each others mouths. Him, because feeling how deep his cock was inside of you completely overtook all his senses, and you because it made his cock hit an angle inside you, you didnât even know existed.
Michael pressed down harder as his thrusts began to become sloppy and desperate, his lips moving against yours obscenely, as you both bit and chased each other with spit circling your lips.
Your pussy clenched around his thick cock once, and it was all it took to send you two over the edge. He came inside you with a guttural groan the neighbors definitely heard as he spilled his seed inside you. Your pussy clamped down on him hard, as your walls spasmed and you came all over his dick, your juices coating his thick cock.
Michael kept rocking into you gently, getting you both through your highs. His abdomen flaunting your shared arousal, his cum dripping down out your pussy and onto his expensive silk sheets.
He kissed you then, breathing heavily and still sheathed inside you, not moving anymore. He moaned obscenely against your lips, his hand clutching to your hair, some of his fingers intertwined with your messy strands, and some of them gripping the crown on your head. Almost as if he was making sure this was real, like you were real, hoping that you were here, that youâd stay. And of course, you would.
Michael Kaiser had finally found his fairytale ending. He an Emperor, with his Empress under him, adorned in her Emperors crown and his markings along her body, as they lay entangled.
Did i cook?!
Pls tell me i did. plsplsplspls
Not proofread, pls spare me, i wrote this in the middle of the night
Bunny, Sae, and more Michael and Vivian coming soonâŠ.Let me know if thereâs anyone you wanna specifically see!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
â⊠synopsis: bllk men get withdrawals from your attention.
âincluding: sae, kaiser, isagi
ââ⊠sae
âsomething was absolutely off. usually at this time you'd prance around your shared apartment singing or complaining to yourselfâbut now it was crickets. he watched you make breakfast for yourself, a blank expression on your face.
âwhy? all because he called your current tv obsession half-baked, and in his own defence he didn't even think you'd take it this seriously. he felt as if he made one wrong move then he would be sleeping on the couch, so he said no more.
â"so are you just going to ignore me?" he asks with a bored tone, sipping on that tasteless bullshit he drinks in the morning an unflavored protein shake.
ânow to him you were probably mad about his egregious statement against your favorite show but you were conducting a serious science experiment, one that would change human history. your hypothesis was that if you did not initiate emotional or physical intimacy then sae would hopefully compensate to restore "balance"
âwas it ethical? no. did you want to see what would happen if you pretended to be angry at him/ ignoring him? absolutely.
âand so your little experiment began.
âfor the first two hours of the day it felt normal, nothing out of the ordinary, he was aware that you had the sleep schedule as capricious as the weather, so he paid no mind to it. it was only at this moment when it dawned on him that you were ignoring him.
âby now he would have heard your favourite term of endearment, "kitten whiskers," or your odd jokes but no. he sat staring at you wondering when your shenanigans would end. not that he missed your nonsense or anything.
âby the time it was midday he sat pouting to himself, today's practice felt weird yet he couldn't quite put his finger on it. perhaps it was the lack of smothering you gave him before any matches or practices. maybe it could be the fact that you didn't even text him goodbye. sae was so engrossed in his sulking that he couldn't even pay attention to the vulgar jokes shidou makes. it got so bad that he nearly got hit in the face with the ball, emphasis on nearly.
âthe second he returned from practice he kicked off his shoes, flung his bag on the couch before padding to the bedroom and plopping right on top of you.
âresults: he barely lasted six hours.
âconclusion: he seeks out affection more than he lets on.
â"you realise you're sweaty as hell, right?"
â"i know, just let me hug you."
â
â⊠michael
â"i am not addicted to your attention." the blonde scoffs. looking back on this, he was seriously mistaken. the two of you interlinked pinkies as you declared a bet,
â"tommorow we'll see how long you go without attention, if i win i get to post anything on your account."
â"anything? on my main?" kaiserâs eyebrows raised.
â"yes. don't tell me you don't believe in yourself." you taunt holding back a sinister smirk.
â"we have a deal."
âthose were probably his famous final four words, because you were indeed correct, he was an attention whoreâfor you. he laid next to you on the bed and you didn't even move to pepper his face with kisses nor did you rake your hand through his luscious hair.
âbut kaiser put up a brave facade acting like your lack of attention didn't affect him, he could handle you not even looking in his direction or laughing at his strange jokes, but this? he could not handle the excessive amount of attention you showered ness with.
the second ness came through that front door, michael felt like he had to compete with his best friend ness, and news flash he wasn't winning. ness began to charm you with his sweet âboy next doorâ personality, a type of shyness kaiser did not possess. hell, you even giggled at him, whereas kaiser didn't even receive as much as a mere glance in his direction.
in you're peripheral you could see kaiser's persona cracking fast, it was only a matter of mere hoursâno scratch that minutes before kaiser finally gives up on the bet but only if you played your current cards right. usually in the many bets you made with your boyfriend you'd never really put all of your effort towards proving your point but this was the one time to get back at him.
by nighttime, as predicted, kaiser clung to your waist mumbling about he hated needing your attention. you ran one of your handââs through his hair, another reaching for his phone. it was time for revenge, you surf through a private album of pictures on his phone and post a old picture of kaiser in highschool sporting a cunty bald look.
you posted it on his professional account with the caption, âworked so hard my hair fell out.â you did this for two reasons, one, the memes that would arise from this picture would be legendary, two, revenge for him accidentally posting a picture of you sleeping in a contorted manner. you were now equal, so equal that you'd give george orwell a run for his money.
⊠isagi
you were having a great day, the sun casting its warm summer rays in a calm way. not only was the weather perfect but your hair, outfit and make was perfect too. to isagi there was just something about seeing you feel and look your best, it felt like a reward.
isagi only had a great day when you were looking at him. therefore his current dilemma. before he even got the chance to admire you, you were out and roaming the streets of spain before he even cracked his eye open. lying beside him was a small note which read,
âgood morning, if you need anything i am just a call away. also good luck with the project ego sent you on, sincerely [name]. ps. that was not a reference to that evil man sincere.â
isagi groggily prepared for the so-called getaway ego plan for him. in all honesty he felt off kilter, practically thrown off of his familiar routine where you'd usually wake him up to soft encouragement or a kiss to the cheek, but today nothing.
he got to experience spain like a tourist, he went from one grand building to another, before joining the tour guide ego hired for him. how this would help with soccer baffled him but what could he say ego was kind of his coach and manager, meaning he had to trust the man.
isagi blends in with the crowd feeling a small twinge of pain on the left side of his chest, a pain that could be only soothed by your presence. every time he walked past a couple he'd glower at them also internally huff at the sweet gestures they did for each other. to isagi, you were so lucky getting the opportunity to explore on your own accord but he tried to stop sulking.
the second he returned to the hotel room, his smile up his entire face, he cast away his souvenirs and shuffled right next to where you sat huddled up in blankets, snacks beside you and watching some show.
âyou're finally back, how was your day?â you greet, your hand patting the empty side of the bed just ready to unwind and soak in each other's presence.
âboring, you weren't there. if you were, it would been ten times better.â
âaww, well we have a few more days left in spain so we'll explore together.â
isagi hums, climbing into the bed and settling his head on your chest as you resume your show.
michael kaiser whose screentime increases astronomically after discovering pinterest for the first time.
tooth-rotting fluff, silly misunderstandings, technologically inept kaiser, kaiser being a cute little kitten for 2.2k words (ÂŽâœ`ÊâĄÆȘ).
There's something strange going on with Kaiser.
You can't exactly put a finger on it, on the leading cause behind his odd behaviour, but you're absolutely certain about itâ that he's keeping some kind of dodgy secret from you.
For one, he's been waking up later and less groggier than usual.
Well, granted, he's always waking up late, but it's the latter that really spikes your interest. Normally, whenever the man woke up to red rimmed and sunken eyes, a gaunt complexion and bed hair that looked like it's been dragged through the jungle and back, he's never failed to be in a foul fucking mood.
And thus, the lack of it, of his bitchiness, was raising some questionsâŠ
But more than that, however, he's even been spending more time on the toilet!
Again, something that isn't new to you considering how he's always had a bad history with constipation, but still!
Isn't someone dealing with the discomfort of constipation supposed to at least throw a fit in their bout of frustration?!
Butâ but that hasn't been the case at all!
If anything, he's been so much calmer.
Calmer!
Him, Michael Kaiser, the man whose fury rivalled that of Zeus himself being calm?!
Outrageous, right?!
You just couldn't wrap your head around it no matter how hard you tried to.
What the hell is it that's been putting him in such a jolly good mood?
It surely wasn't your ass responsible for this, you haven't been doing anything different with him as far as you can remember, and if it wasn't youâŠ
If it wasn't you, then, who was it�
"âŠ."
God, it almost feels like you're going insane, drawing vivid conclusions without consulting him first, but were you really to blame here?
The evidence was basically all there, staring at you right in the goddamn face!
How lately, he's always wearing his blue light glasses around the house and how he's constantly hogging the charger for himself, as if recurrently in front of a screen, perhaps, texting some random chick behind your backâŠ!
Your baseless thoughts were practically confirmed as well, when you'd tried to take sneak a quick peek at his phone during one of his ridiculously long shitting sessions, only to find that he'd taken his phone with him to the bathroom.
To the bathroom!!
Sure, most people had their phone accompany them to cure their boredom while they took shit, but in your case, everything was starting to add up!
It was just so blatantly obvious, and you'd only be a foolish moron to deny it further, to deny what he was trying so desperately hard to hide from you.
"Hey." His voice, dry and relaxed, snaps you out of your spiralling thoughts, pulling you back to reality by the taut thread your sanity was clinging to. "I'll be back later, yeah?"
You don't grace him with a verbal response, barely guarding him with a stare of acknowledgement as he stands across from you by the apartment door, waiting for your usual farewells and wishes of safe returns.
"[Name]?"
Kaiser sounds uncertain as he addresses you, and you're not sure what spurs your destructive curiosity, whether it's that last bit of confirmation you need before confronting him, or some innate desperation that blooms after hearing the slight waver in his tone, but you seek it out for yourself.
"Can Iâ uh, can I check your phone..?"
The silence that ensues has your pulse falter and your heart flatline.
You're positively sure your nervous system's shutting down too, the dread from the sudden stillness entirely to blame for the way your stomach lurches to your congesting throat. There's even a tremble in your hands as you press them close to your side, hoping to contain the fear that overwhelms you.
If he refuses, then he's definitely hiding something⊠If he doesn't want me seeing his phone, then he's definitelyâ
"Sure."
"Huh?"
The noise of your confusion is almost comical as you raise your head with alarm, your earlier fright seemingly for nothing when the sight of his phone greets you teasingly.
"My phone?" He tilts his head jadedly, not at all bothered by what any normal person would be bothered by.
"âŠuh, thanks." You take it from him with mild hesitation, fingers briefly brushing against his warmer ones during the exchange.
What the hell? He just gave it to me? No questions asked� No! He just wants me to think that way! This calculating bastard's probably deleted all the evidence!
You huff mockingly, guarding him with a glare of growing suspicion, something he doesn't pay attention to, not when he's too busy yawning away the fatigue from his lack of sleep doing God knows what at the heinous hour of dawn.
The phone almost feels like a ticking time bomb in your hands, and perhaps it is, considering how you were about to find some real sketchy shit on it. A moment passes as you calm your haywire nerves with quiet breaths, then, you're switching his phone on, gulping cautiously as the screen lit up with a⊠horribly pixelated image of a puddle?
Huh?
Your puzzlement barely lasts a second, not when the phone just unlocks by itself, without you having to input a code or anything into it.
"âŠ."
This- this idiot doesn't have a password on his phone?!
"You⊠you don't have a password on your phone..?" The utter disbelief in your tone goes ignored by the athlete.
He only blinks at you owlishly, brow raising with genuine confusion. "Do I need one?"
"I mean," you exhale deeply, pinching the bridge of your nose with unbridled bewilderment, questioning how nobody's tried to steal his phone yet, "most people have oneâŠ"
"Oh," Kaiser hums deeply, like he's considering your words for a brief minute before shrugging them off carelessly. "It's not like there's anything important on it."
I'll see that for myself, alright!? Hmph! Only people with things to hide say stuff like thatâŠ
You glance at him dubiously, before your gaze falls back on his unlocked phone with beguiled intent, your brows furrowing in thought as you internally debated your options.
I'd like to see his messages⊠but maybe it's better if I just check his screen time instead..?
And you do just that, your fingers move with the expertise of a veteran, pulling up his settings app to check his screen time, a stat that greets you in its full glory.
Twelve- TWELVE FUCKING HOURS ON WEB BROWSER??? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING ON IT FOR SO LONG???!!
Your eyes near bulge out of their sockets at the number, before you rub at them furiously, hoping the comical endeavour clears your vision of the bullshit you're hallucinating. But instead of it reducing to a more appropriate number like you'd quietly expected, the absurd double digits remain, large and mocking as they stare back at you with mirth.
"Oi- oiâŠ!" Your finger trembles against yourself as you point to the screen accusingly, tapping on it frantically to get his attention. "Explain!"
"Oh." He offers no further explanation, only scratching his head in response, none the wiser to your skyrocketing concerns. "Uh, well, I found this website and can't seem to get off it."
"Website!?" You repeat, your mind flying a mile a minute as he nods noncommittally, a gesture that has dread pool in your stomach.
A website??? And he can't get off it?? Oh my God- don't tell me, it'sâ
"P-porn hub?!"
"Pinterest."
"Huh."
"What."
"âŠ."
The silence is unbearably loud, and you nearly shit yourself when he guards you with a look of mild offence, clearly felling very insulted by your baseless accusation.
"What did you just say?" His brow arches as he guards you with disbelief, looking a minute away from decking the life out of you.
"âŠ.Haha! P-pinterest!" You try to collect yourself, hoping he drops the subject before you explode into a pile of mush from humiliation. "Pinterest, huh?"
"âŠyeah." Kaiser eventually gets the hint and lets the topic go, giving up on trying to figure out whatever bullshit of a misunderstanding you ended up conjuring with your vivid imagination â a trait he was rather fond of.
You can only grin with relief when he doesn't inquire further about your ridiculous thoughts, though the relief is only momentary, for the reminder of his screentime resurfaces, urging you to investigate further. "But what about your screentime?! Why the hell is it at twelve fucking hours?!"
"Well, they have lots of pretty pictures," he admits quietly, fiddling with the ends of his bangs as he tried explaining his reasoning behind that absurd screentime. "It takes me a while to decide which to have as my wallpaper."
"Wallpaper?" You perk up, that explained his odd wallpaper you couldn't help cringe at earlier, it was so badly grainy and blurry, you thought you'd end up suffering an aneurysm.
"Yeah, look." He says, taking the phone from you while keeping it in your line of sight as he pressed on the screen a couple of times to open the website.
"If I click on this pretty picture, I can screenshot it and have it as my wallpaper." He talks you through each step, following along with them as he presents to you the abomination of a pixilated wallpaper he foolishly thought was pretty. "Helps calm me down when I look at it after some idiot's pissed me off."
Kaiser throws you a smug grin, feeling prideful for finally being able to teach you something 'techy' when it was usually him being the technologically inept boomer. You have to resist the disrespectful urge to scoff in his face when he keeps glancing at you with a puppy-ish glint in his eyes, searching for you approval and compliments.
"That's not⊠sigh, that's not how you use pinterest." You nearly roll your eyes with distaste, snatching the phone away from him to show him how it's really done. "You have to download the app first."
"There's- there's an app�" He looks distraught at your comment, complexion comically paling with horror as the earlier aura of cockiness surrounding him wilted in an instant at your bluntness.
"Yes, and you can just download the images while keeping its resolution instead of taking screenshots."
"Huh?" The guy doesn't follow, his spinning expression a telling sign of his growing confusion.
You can only sigh while shaking your head, it looked like he had a lot to learn, and given how he was already running late to practice, a few more minutes spent on teaching him how to use the software wouldn't hurt.
"Sit down," you fall to the ground with a huff, tapping the space beside you for him to follow along, something he does immediately with no complaints. "I'll teach you."
And that's exactly how your crash course on 'Beginners Tutorial For Using Pinterest Like a Pro, No Glue, No Borax' shortly began. You taught him how to navigate around the app, how to make boards and how to pin certain posts into those categorised boards, while also teaching him the correct way to download images instead of whatever abomination he thought was right.
"It looks prettierâŠ" Kaiser admits reluctantly, eyes bright with awe as he admired the resolution of his new wallpaper, something he always struggled to achieve with his pathetic screenshots.
"Right?" It's your turn to be smug now as you guard him with a humoured grin, finding immense delight in his quiet joy.
"Yeah." He nods softly, the tufts of his hair bouncing along in agreement, a sight that has your heart clench.
You stare at him for a little while longer, quietly endeared by his boyish wonder, before pulling your own phone out and holding it up proudly in his line of sight. "But not as pretty as my wallpaper!"
"Hm?" Kaiser looks up with mild curiosity, pretty blue eyes landing on the way your screen lit up with an image of himself. "It's meâŠ"
"Yep!" You cheer, before tapping on the screen relentlessly, the lockscreen changing to different candid pictures of him that you must've taken when he was too distracted to notice.
"âŠoh." He offers no further response, or rather, he's unable to even think of one, the flush on the tip of his nose a telling sign of his quaint shyness.
There's silence following your quiet show of affection, filled with warmth and tenderness, a moment that lasts for a short while, until it's later disturbed by Kaiser who finally gains his senses.
His gaze is fixed intently on his phone, tapping away at it with the concentration of a scholar and the speed of a grandma, before he shoves it right in your face with a prideful huff.
You squint, pulling back and gently taking the device from him to see what he desperately wanted to show you. It's his wallpaper, but instead of it being an image of the aesthetic puddle you helped him find earlier on pinterest, it was a selfie of the two of you. One you'd absentmindedly taken during one of your many trips to the library down the neighbourhood.
It was a horrible composition, zoomed in awkwardly on your face and blurry to boot, but⊠but it was sort of cute⊠if you were as blind as a bat and grew up around dis-formed behemoths.
"Mine'sâŠ" He starts off competitively, head turning away from you with growing embarrassment as his voice cracked ungainly, "âŠprettier."
"âŠ."
Ah, to think this easily flustered guy was the same guy you'd thought as unfaithful⊠shame on me.
the thought of my angel listening to audio books as he scrolls on pinterest đ„čđ„č
anyway i told two close friends that kaiser likes to have pretty wallpapers bc it helps calm him down, one of them said "omg he has a pic of ur face on it" đ„čđ„čđ„čâïž, and the other said he needs therapy đĄđĄđĄ. now which of the two do you think has been subject to my kaiser rants for longer?
