#autistic problems

this can involve physically harming themselves, other people, or objects. yelling and screaming. getting irritable or angry. reckless or impulsive behavior. being rude or saying mean things. you get the idea.

autistic people who do this should still be supported. we deserve people who will advocate for us, respect us, listen to us, care for us, include us, and fight for us.

and no, this does not mean autistic people are allowed to hurt others without consequence.

it means autistic people are people. we're not a monolith. autistic people who have fight responses are just as important as other autistics - especially when it comes to community and advocacy.

I hate posts of this genre so much. God forbid your DISABILITY actually DISABLES YOU???

If you genuinely think like this, you need to unpack why you think being an autistic person who can easily mask makes you so much better than autistic people whose autism DOES make them “weird”.

For fucks sake. Stop treating autism like it’s just a fun silly quirk that makes you better than everyone else (including MSN/HSN autistic people, who some of y’all basically treat like we’re a different species) instead of acknowledging that it’s a fucking developmental disorder. I’m not saying you can’t be proud of your autism, but trying to separate yourself from people who are more obviously disabled than you just makes you look like an ableist piece of shit. If autism is somehow not what you’d consider a disability for you, okay I guess, but you need to acknowledge that it IS a disability for MOST of us.

A non-exhaustive list of the ways autistic people may show empathy even though we are assumed to not have it.

Are these exclusive to autistic people? No, not at all, we're just more often pathologized for them.

If I'm in a relationship with someone who does this, does that mean I just have to suck it up even if it doesn't work for me? No, it doesn't, but you do probably have some adjusting to do. You'll need to treat it as a mutual miscommunication instead of something it's all on the autistic (or ADHD, or whatever) person to fix. You'll have to change some of your expectations and get comfortable asking for (and explaining) the show of empathy you need - and you may even find out that the way you show empathy isn't working so great for them either. 😉

[Image description: AUTISTIC EMPATHY CAN LOOK LIKE… - Infographic by Autball.

White translucent boxes with black lettering inside on a magenta to purple diagonal gradient. The first four boxes read: (1) I’ve been through something similar, so maybe sharing my story will help; (2) Ooh, I know how to fix that! Maybe helping them solve their problem will make them feel better; (3) Oh man, now I have big feelings too! I just feel this so much!; (4) My favorite thing always calms me down, so maybe it’ll help them too. I’ll ask them to do it with me. These four are grouped together with a blue line and labeled: Misinterpreted as “Making it All About You.”

The next four boxes read: (5) I’m not sure how to help, so I’ll leave it to that person who looks like they do; (6) When I’m upset or overwhelmed, I prefer to be left alone, so I’ll bet they would like the same; (7) If I get involved, I’m gonna become overwhelmed myself, and that will take attention from them, so it’s best to just stay out of it; (8) I’m not sure how to help, and I usually make it worse when I try but get it wrong, so it’ll be better for everyone if I just do nothing. These four are grouped together with a blue line and labeled: Misinterpreted as Cold and Uncaring.