#non-mono

Promiscuity or promiscuousness: having or characterized by many transient sexual relationships; demonstrating or implying an undiscriminating or unselective approach; indiscriminate or casual; adulterine or libertine; epicene.

Bi, omni, poly(sexual, not amorous), and pan all have one thing in common. 

The attraction to at least more than one gender. 

The distinction is this: bi is old. Very old. It’s been used for a long time. Such a long time, in fact, that it existed before genders outside the binary were popularized as more people started realizing that gender had nothing to do with your body. A lot of bi people, and a lot of old bi people, especially, identified as bi before they even knew that there was more than two genders. 

And so, when people were just starting to realize this, a lot of people branched out into different categories to include those genders. But a lot of people didn’t. A lot of people liked calling themselves bi, and they had identified with that orientation for years. So instead of creating a new word with a new definition, it was decided that bi could have several definitions. 

See, the difference between all of the communities is that not all people who identify as bi, are attracted to the same kinds of people. You can argue and argue about phonetics, historical definitions, and root words all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that the statement of “If you identify as bi, you are attracted to all genders” is untrue. It alienates a lot of bi people who have been using the identity for years under a different definition. Sometimes, if you say you’re bi, you’re actually attracted to feminine genders over masculine genders, but still feel some attraction to masculine genders. Sometimes you have no preference at all, and you’re attracted to all genders. Sometimes you’re only attracted to nonbinary genders. Sometimes you’re only attracted to two. I know some other trans people that only exclusively date other trans people. 

There has never been, and probably never will be, a concrete definition of bi. It’s become a bit of an umbrella term for the non-mono community, and that’s an inescapable fact. No amount of screaming about the other branches of non-mono sexuality with change that. 

That being said, Pan, Omni, and Poly all have one thing in common as well. 

They’re defined. Permanently.

These are all specific subsets of of being attracted to more than one gender. 

Pan-sexuality is what most anti-pan bi people refer to as the biggest offender, because it has the same definition that they say that bi has. Which is true. It has a definition that bi has. Only one of them. Not the rest. The only definition it has in common with bisexuality is “Being attracted to people regardless of gender, and sometimes appearance.” 

Polysexuality also has a definition that it also shares with bisexuality. Just one. One definition. “Attracted to some, but not all, genders.” 

Omnisexuality also shares a definition with bi. It’s similar to Pan in that it’s also defined by attraction to all genders, but with a small distinction. Omnisexuals aren’t gender blind. They’re attracted to all genders, rather than not caring about gender. They’re just attracted to different genders in different ways. 

All of these people who identify as any of the above, could also, if they wanted to, validly identify as bi.

But they don’t, because they don’t want to be vague. They want people to know who they’re actually attracted to. If someone tells you they’re bi, it’s kind of like someone else saying they’re queer. Deep down you know they’re not straight, and you know that they’re, at the very least, attracted to more than one gender, but you don’t know if they have preferences, if they include trans people or not, or if they’re only attracted to people outside of the binary spectrum. You just don’t know. Because bi isn’t defined. And bi musicians, historical figures, and many other bi people have said that before. It’s a big spectrum. Maybe a picture will help.

These are the three most well known subsets of being attracted to multiple genders. As you can see, they’re separate, with separate definitions, each in little boxes. 

But being bi is kind of like a triangle where you can place yourself anywhere

Does this mean that if you’re in one of the corners of bisexuality that you have to use that corresponding label? No! of course not. You use whatever you’re most comfortable with. The idea that anybody can police you, your preferences, or your labels is laughable. You go ahead and identify as whatever you want, as long as it makes you comfortable. The problem comes when you tell other people that their identity is invalid, or shouldn’t exist.

Erin talking about jealousy 

11/2016

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Polyerosy (from Greek πολύ poly, “many, several”, and Greek ἔρωτες erotes, the plural of eros ἔρως "sexual desire") means to be capable of being sexually attracted to more than one person at the same time and be in an consensual & sexual relationship with any of those people.

Polyamory combines plural sexual relationships & plural romantic relationships unneccessarily. Plural sexual & romantic relationships do coincide with each other but not always. Someone may be Monoamorous, but have plural sexual relationships, or vice versa. Someone may be Polyerosous, but is Nonamorous. Poly//erosy could always be used to describe a sexual relationship inside a non-mono/polyamorous relationship between one party and another, like how poly//amory is used to describe romantic relationships.

The person would be a Polyerosist, Polye/Polyeros, Polyerosous like with Polyamory, the person would be a Polyamorist, Polyam, and Polyamorous.

There's other terms like Open Relationships and Swinging, but it doesn't carry the same weight, stability and language meaning as Polyamory.

If we adopt Polyerosy in the Non-Mono/Poly community we could still use Polyamory as an umbrella term for people who are still both Polyamorous and Polyerosous.

That's why a term like Polyerosy is necessary, healthy, sensible to adopt into usage for those who need it in the Non-Mono/Polyam community. Term coined by: @thehollowkidvg

[image description: a flag with three stripes. from top to bottom they are: black, dark red, dark blue. a golden ‘ἔ’ symbol, the greek lowercase letter Epsilon with a psili and oxia is centered on the center stripe.]

[image description: a flag with three stripes. from top to bottom they are: black, dark red with hues of purple, dark blue with hues of purple. a golden ‘ἔ’ symbol, the greek lowercase letter Epsilon with a psili and oxia is centered on the center stripe.]  Designed by: @snapbacksteben & @thehollowkidvg Color meanings:

Black: Solidarity & pride with those who hide those relationships from the outside world due to societal pressures. Red: Sexual desire, sexuality, intensity and passion. Blue: The openness, communication and honesty amongst all partners in poly relationships. Flexibility and freedom. The Golden Epsilon symbol: Greek lowercase letter ‘Epsilon with a psili and oxia’, as the first letter of ‘Erotes’ or 'Eros'. the Gold color represents the value that we place on the close connections we make with others. The darker hues in the first flag: Pride, strength courage and fortitude of being non-mono/poly. The purple hues in the second flag: tactfulness, diplomacy, consensuality and professionalism needed when being in a sexual relationship with someone, be it mono or non-mono.                                                                                                

To me being marked up and scratched is a very delicate matter. It is not usually sexual (although it very easily can be in the right setting, method and person involved) to receive, as well as giving. Being Scratched is exceptionally intimate, and if all factors surrounding it are not met it is not something that I enjoy, but when met fireworks go off in my entire body and mind. 

Scratching and being scratched is therapeutic to me, it makes my nerves on fire in the most pleasant of ways till they all stand on end, but it also relaxes me like nothing else. Both awake and at the most peaceful stage, an contradiction in of itself.  It is a coming together and bonding on unimaginable levels of the universe, a gift that I have rarely successfully shared with another.