What being Marked Up/Scratched Means to Me
To me being marked up and scratched is a very delicate matter. It is not usually sexual (although it very easily can be in the right setting, method and person involved) to receive, as well as giving. Being Scratched is exceptionally intimate, and if all factors surrounding it are not met it is not something that I enjoy, but when met fireworks go off in my entire body and mind.
Scratching and being scratched is therapeutic to me, it makes my nerves on fire in the most pleasant of ways till they all stand on end, but it also relaxes me like nothing else. Both awake and at the most peaceful stage, an contradiction in of itself. It is a coming together and bonding on unimaginable levels of the universe, a gift that I have rarely successfully shared with another.
And this, for these reasons above, is why it upset me so much when M told me that I was not allowed to be scratched by another when I finally found one that I connected deeply with that I wished to share something as intimate as allowing them to scratch me. It wasn’t the marks that M had the biggest issue with - but how the marks made me feel - especially when I rarely allow him to leave scratches on me because his solely hurt instead of giving me the pleasure that they are meant to gift me with. He hated the visibility of my connection with another in such a raw manner - one that he knew was something that he himself did not like and could therefore not provide me with.
