i identify as aro/arospec bc i can't tell the difference between romantic and nonromantic attraction...i'm married and still don't know. i generally don't care for most romantic gestures, but recently got w someone new (polyamory reasons) and he sends me "good morning beautiful" texts and i get flustered and butterflies...idk if it's bc I've never had anyone so similarly expressive w love as me or what but i get so giddy when i receive his texts. and i respond w a script akin to what my parents did...but my roommate said basically that i should maybe re-evaluate my aro label bc i'm giggling and blushing and happy over something so small when our other friend who's aro is indifferent to all these types of romantic gestures...and idk if i'm aro anymore...i was so sure i was...i feel the same way for everyone and base my levels of intimacy based on a compromise of the other person's comfort levels and my own. if i'm not sexually attracted to someone then i won't pursue them. etc. it's all the same emotions....
Your roommate is being arophobic by comparing you to another aromantic person. Aromanticism is not a monolith. It doesn't look the same in every person. It sounds like you are laimoromantic [link], which is explicitly on the aromantic spectrum.
