#cis man

dude back in january i had THE best masculine hair i looked so good…………until i met a cis guy i liked and it went to hell. he kept picking apart my appearance and so i changed. WROST DECISION EVER. i cut my BEAUTIFUL long bangs i had been growing.. they were so good i’m grieving … if i never met him i’d literally be fine. id still have my hair, my sunshine, my masculinity that i was proud of. i was so proud to be trans, and now i question myself every day. my hair makes me so dysphoric. the whole “feminine” thing was mostly bcs of him, it didn’t make me as happy as i thought. but i am no longer doing shit to make other ppl happy. i refuse. i’m learning how to love myself more day by day. it’s really hard, but i’m trying to move on and stop focusing on him, and more so focus on myself.

Has anyone ever felt like masculinity is used as a weapon, instead of being embraced as part of who we are, to the point Identity becomes a crime and feelings are sorted out as trash?