#ahnold

Dream Journal 2018-07-29: Here Are The Out-Of-Context Titles For My Dream Fragments So You Can Laugh At Them

I had a bunch of dreams last night, but they were so fragmented and short that they could be relatively easily reported in two or three sentences. But the I’m going to change things up a bit tonight: instead of your regularly-scheduled dream reporting, I’m only going to tell you what the title of the dream would be if it actually got it’s own post. Get ready for a chuckle or two!

Fish Davidson Goes To A Family Restaurant To Play Vampire The Masquerade With His Family And The Christian Folks A Few Tables Over Get Mad About It

Mayonnaise Is An Okay Condiment But A Terrible Thing To Put In A Briefcase

Fish Davidson Tries To Call A Sears Store That Went Out Of Business Sometime In 1994

Laying On The Ground For No Reason In Particular

Somehow I Wore Women’s Clothing To Work And Nobody Noticed

Hey, Does This Light Switch Work?

The Russian Mob Tries To Stop Me From Getting A Magic Jack Subscription

Sometimes People Yell At You If You Tie Your Shoelaces At Night

And my personal favorite of the evening:

My Math Teacher Showed Me “Truth Explosion,” The Cult Action Film About That One Time When The Government Declared Pi To Be Exactly 3 And Arnold Schwarzenegger Made Things Explode Until The Correct Value Was Reinstated

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Dear Ahnold,

!!

I-I wasn’t going to eat it!  I was just...stuffing it into my magic panties!  You know, as a magic prop!