SwiftLizard

Hey Tumblr staff, which of these 4 words is considered mature content?

It's Matteo JWHJ0715!!!!! Very talented director (italian mother, license plate father)

Verified ✔️

I love that opera sits in this limbo where it's extremely well-known but not really beyond a surface level recognition, so you get commercials for makeup or whatever to the tune of the I Hate Women So Much It's Unreal aria

I thought ornithologists usually sing about birds

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

still feel like we have not appropriately tapped into the comedy goldmine that is: Dracula's first canonical appearance features him wearing a goofy hat and a huge false beard. this is uproarious. this is rib-tickling! this has so many implications!!!

APPRECIATE that I had to research & convert historical exchange rates for this post. 1604 romanian lei is an outrageous price for a chicken. appreciate my historically accurate punchline!!!

during my dissertation proposal hearing one of my advisors said "I think you might have been too harsh in your criticism of this theory" and I genuinely, innocently asked "what makes you say that?" and he said "well on page 27 you used the phrase 'should be consigned wholesale to the dustbin of history'" and I was like oh. yeah I guess I did that. fair

A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.

Fourth circle needed: IT workers

You say that with such confidence that I am compelled to trust your vision. Personally I have no idea where this is going.

i'd say the overlap between "sex workers" and "people who work in morgues" is probably "seeing naked strangers a lot"

"professional handling of bodies of strangers"?

my controversial opinion is I don’t think Zuko was confused by “my first girlfriend turned into the moon”

he was there during siege of the North. he infiltrated the spirit oasis. he has an uncle who studies spirits and the spirit world. he watched the sky go dark then the moon suddenly reappear like everyone else in the entire world did. and most importantly he watched zhao get eaten by a giant godzilla fish spirit.

his entire life since he saw that beam of blue-white light in the south pole has been ‘this day has already been so goddamn weird’

The only really new information was that that was Sokka’s girlfriend

Also, Iroh was there? He literally watched Sokka make out with the moon spirit. And you want to tell me that a romantic sap like him would not have immediately told Zuko about this romantic tragedy? Please, Zuko has known about this for ages, he just knows that this is not an acceptable situation in which to say “yeah, I know.”

[image: tags by samwisethebold: #it’s not that he doesn’t get what sokka means #it’s that how on earth do you respond to that]

When you put it like that, this is actually a legendary display of tact on Zuko’s part

also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?”  and then scream and cut out his mic.

Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario